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Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Saying Goodbye.............

A sad day today. My sister in law Janice is in hospice. What can I say.............I came here to the USA in 1971 I have known her since then. Over the years we were not close but I enjoyed her company when I could. In the early years, when we were young we saw each other more than in recent years. She is a Georgia girl, came from a family very unlike the one we married into. We had that in common. She lived here in Traverse City in those days and so I saw them more often than in later years. They live in Florida now and we still live in Michigan. Her kids are here, well two of the 3 are. I feel so bad for them, and her husband. Janice was waiting for a new liver. That never happened. She was on the list for a transplant but truly was never well enough. She had been in and out of hospital the last 3 years. I think she got tired of it all. My other sister in law said she didn't follow through with what the doctors told her to do. I think she probably had enough and that got her to where she is today.
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My Dad was a POW in Japan and because of that he had health issues his entire life. He had several surgeries on his stomach and later his gall bladder. Each time something seemed to happen that made it not at all straightforward. So when he had a leak in a heart valve he had pretty much decided that was it for him. I was over here and he back in England. No one told me until he was actually in the hospital. They didnt want me to worry or try to get home. They felt I could not do anything so I should be told when I could not try.........I could have prayed.......well as it turned out he didn't survive. I believe he never intended to. He had been seen walking by his fathers old house and throughout the village, remembering. Saying goodbye as it was.
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I can understand that. We are only here for a season. When its time to go I think our body starts to prepare itself and connects to the mind in a way that makes the transition acceptable to us. Its different if you have small children, we know we must fight for life but, once our normal "duties" are complete and our kids as settled as they can be, then we can accept when its our time...............I believe Janice knew it was hers and was ready. After all she has been through, to remain probably did not seem worth the fight. Even with a new liver and all that would entail, it would have been a very long haul and apparently she was not willing to do that. The alternative was better. I would be that way I think. Its not something to fear, death is a part of life and living and is a transition like birth is. We can not know whats ahead the day we are born into this world as a helpless baby, we relied on our, in death we rely on our Father HE will not let her down. She is in good hands now. I know when its my turn that my Dad will be waiting along with my friends who have gone and who I dream of so often.......and soon my sister in law.
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I am glad Janice's kids made it down to Florida and that she was able to wait for them. It's hard to say goodbye, but its really see ya later..............enjoy your reunions Janice there will be plenty of rejoicing when you get home. As for me....see ya later alligator.


Michele @ The Nest at Finch Rest said...

I am so sorry. You seem to have a very good mind set - and I agree with it all.

My mom didn't see her sixties and my dad died 6 years after that. My first husband died when he was 47 from liver cancer he didn't know he had till it was too late and died 6 weeks after finding out. My bbf died when she was 43 from breast cancer after battling it for 7 years.

Life is short. Making today count is all that truly matters.

May Janice, when it is time, rest in peace. Hugs of comfort.

Anonymous said...

oh my, the end is always so hard for those left behind, what a sweet heart you are, such an inspiration,

Cindy Adkins said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your sister-in-law. I believe you're right, though. I saw my Mom go through the same thing. She had health problems most of her life and 3 heart surgeries. The first when I was 13 and the second when I was in my 30s. Ten years later, when I was in my 40s, she had to have another...but never woke up from the surgery. I think she was just tired and she knew. She wrote me and several other family members letters prior to the surgery. She was ready to join my Dad, I think. Still...even knowing that, it's sad. Well, sad for those of us left behind. I will say a prayer for your sister-in-law that she doesn't suffer and has a peaceful transition. Hugs to you.

NanaDiana said...

Oh,I am sorry but I also believe that sometimes death is a blessing in disguise for those that are tired and soul sick. God bless the whole family as they walk this path- xo Diana

Arija said...

I am always sorry when people just give up. I have often knocked on the Pearly Gates but somehow was always turned back because I still have work to do on this plane. I do not wish prolonged illness on anyone, I have oped with degenerative heart disease for 47 years and, with all my close calls we just took it for granted that I would go first but the powers that be decided otherwise and took my husband last August instead.
I wish your sister-in-law a peaceful passing if that is the road she has chosen. We none of us can tell what another's life lessons are, we don't even know our own.

LOLfromPasa said...

I read every word. Your thoughts (experienced by many in different ways) have been beautifully written and the photographs are heavenly. Take care and God Bless. Lauren xx

Noelle the dreamer said...

There is lot of truths in your post Janice but I know it is still hard to say Goodbye. I will think of you and yours and keep all in my prayers.
God bless,

Christine said...

It's a sad time for you and your family, poignant post. Something we must all go through at some point in our lives. your photos are beautiful.

Bluebell Woods said...

My sister in law died in the early hours this morning....she is at peace. Thank you all for prayers much appreciated.

Magic Love Crow said...

I am so sorry for your loss Janice! Your post is written so beautiful! May your sister in law rest in peace. She is smiling above you now Janice and giving you a big hug!

Kaye Swain said...

I'm so sorry you have had to walk thru "the valley of the shadow of death" with your sister-in-law. But, like you, I am grateful that my loved ones who have gone ahead of me were children of God and are in heaven waiting for me - I look forward to being reunited and introducing them to the rest of my sweet grandkids :) Praying for you and your family.