Saying Goodbye.............

A sad day today. My sister in law Janice is in hospice. What can I say.............I came here to the USA in 1971 I have known her since then. Over the years we were not close but I enjoyed her company when I could. In the early years, when we were young we saw each other more than in recent years. She is a Georgia girl, came from a family very unlike the one we married into. We had that in common. She lived here in Traverse City in those days and so I saw them more often than in later years. They live in Florida now and we still live in Michigan. Her kids are here, well two of the 3 are. I feel so bad for them, and her husband. Janice was waiting for a new liver. That never happened. She was on the list for a transplant but truly was never well enough. She had been in and out of hospital the last 3 years. I think she got tired of it all. My other sister in law said she didn't follow through with what the doctors told her to do. I think she probably had enough and that got her to where she is today.

My Dad was a POW in Japan and because of that he had health issues his entire life. He had several surgeries on his stomach and later his gall bladder. Each time something seemed to happen that made it not at all straightforward. So when he had a leak in a heart valve he had pretty much decided that was it for him. I was over here and he back in England. No one told me until he was actually in the hospital. They didnt want me to worry or try to get home. They felt I could not do anything so I should be told when I could not try.........I could have prayed.......well as it turned out he didn't survive. I believe he never intended to. He had been seen walking by his fathers old house and throughout the village, remembering. Saying goodbye as it was.

I can understand that. We are only here for a season. When its time to go I think our body starts to prepare itself and connects to the mind in a way that makes the transition acceptable to us. Its different if you have small children, we know we must fight for life but, once our normal "duties" are complete and our kids as settled as they can be, then we can accept when its our time...............I believe Janice knew it was hers and was ready. After all she has been through, to remain probably did not seem worth the fight. Even with a new liver and all that would entail, it would have been a very long haul and apparently she was not willing to do that. The alternative was better. I would be that way I think. Its not something to fear, death is a part of life and living and is a transition like birth is. We can not know whats ahead the day we are born into this world as a helpless baby, we relied on our mother............now, in death we rely on our Father HE will not let her down. She is in good hands now. I know when its my turn that my Dad will be waiting along with my friends who have gone and who I dream of so often.......and soon my sister in law.

I am glad Janice's kids made it down to Florida and that she was able to wait for them. It's hard to say goodbye, but its really see ya later..............enjoy your reunions Janice there will be plenty of rejoicing when you get home. As for me....see ya later alligator.

Now he's four.....................

Another year gone by and my little man is 4. His mother would be so proud. He is her image. When asked what sort of cake he wanted he said Spiderman. So here it is

We had his birthday yesterday as it was Sunday. We had a nice group come and visit. It looks like for the immediate future his birthday party will be mainly adults as those are who are in his life at the moment. Besides, its easier for me that way haha. Maybe as he gets older he will have 2 birthday parties. Who knows. I am not really into birthdays and only do this for him as a way to thank the people who are in his life and who are a great support for me. They encourage me and inspire me.

The three ladies in the chairs are (closest to camera) Laura Herman, she is wonderful with Tristen and has him every other weekend. She loves having him and her and husband Todd do a lot of things with him that Gerry and I just can not do. We either do not have the resources or money. So she is a big part of his life and as we get older she will no doubt do more for him as he grows up. Next to her is his auntie Phyllis, I suppose a great aunt really as she is his grandfather Dan's aunt. Next to her is Sue Winowiecki, mother of Bill who was Alexandra's fiance.

Above on the sofa talking to Tristen is Bill and his new love Stephanie. It's the first time we met. Bill asked if she could come or would it be weird? I said of course bring her, we wanted to meet her and I don't want it to be weird, not sure Alex would agree but haha...she cant say much now can she. Reina is on the other couch with Raylene.
The next picture is of Raylene and Reina contemplating the cake



We had cold cuts with cheese and rolls, bread and different dressings. A potato salad I made and a chicken macaroni salad I made. I also made meatballs in a yummy sauce and should have made more. We had chips and dips and strawberries with a yogurt dip and raspberries. Little cakes and nuts and yogurt popcorn. Lots of snacks as well as the cake but we forgot the icecream. Its still in the freezer. We took the cake in the front room so he could blow out the candles




That is Bill and Steph watching him blow out the candles. Bill almost married Tristens mum so its sort of sad in a way but I am so glad he is still a part of his life, and ours. I am happy he has found someone nice and has moved on. He is a very nice guy.
Next came cake. He was asked if he wanted a fork............no he said he didnt need one



Oh my poor carpet. Why is it you even bother giving little kids a plate. When done they dump it off on the floor anyway.
This is me with Cooper. I was about to have a small cake, Cooper looked like he may want to try it so I put just a little bit of frosting on my finger. He got a taste of that and grabbed my finger and sucked the life out of it. He has a tooth coming in I might add.


Almost sitting up is our boy Cooper. Such a happy baby and he always laughs when he sees me.


So aunt Carole bought him a Superman costume. She was a bit worried because we do not celebrate Halloween but I said that does not mean he cant have fun dressing up. He has worn it ever since.

Debbie.................

My ex son in law Danny's wife (number 2) just had a stroke. She is only 45. Poor Dan is beside himself. He is the father of my Granddaughter Alexandra who died a year ago in February.
Debbie has been very sick for quite some time. She has one of those sort of illness that does not show on the outside. Pain and debilitating tiredness. Her bones are fragile and she often breaks her foot bones by just standing wrong, or a simple stub of the toe will do it.
Well the other day she got up to take a shower and felt dizzy and fell. She was on the floor from 8.30am until the kids got home from school at 3.45pm. With a stroke there is they say a magic 6 hours where the chance of cure is good. She was not that lucky. Her left side is paralyzed at the moment. She can talk and swallow now on day 3. That is a good sign, she knows where she is and what happened to her. There is a blood clot in her brain and they can not operate nor use medication to get rid of it. I am not sure how that will work out in the end. I do know its going to be a long haul getting better .......but I believe she will get better.
We have to be positive. Her life is not easy. Her children are not very helpful around the house and seem to be quite needy. I won't get into that. Dan was married to my daughter Laura. They have been divorced for some time now and each remarried. Laura to Robert who also has other children and Laura and he have one little girl Reina. Her and Dan are friends now. We consider Debbie a friend as well. My family is very complicated and maybe over time I will explain it a bit better. For now though suffice it to say we pray for Dan and Debbie and the kids that the Lords will be done. I know He can do better than anything I ask for. He knows best. I can pray for fortitude and patience and for the children to play their part, to put aside their issues and be there for their Mother. If you believe in the power of prayer I would appreciate your prayers. This is Debbie and Dan last week on a cruise they went on with the kids and family.

An Old Fashioned Christmas...................

When I think back on childhood and what the best memories were it was never about the gifts but about the family and friends. First of all because no one had a whole lot the emphasis was never on the gifts, even though as a child it was still exciting for me. I tried to believe in Santa but it was rather difficult when I always found my Mums hiding places for the gifts. I was an only child and can not say that I got a whole lot of material things. I was very happy with a book from my aunt and uncle and probably one from my Nan and Granddad and probably a couple of gifts from mum and dad I thought that was a lot. I remember that I would keep looking at them all day long. What I did enjoy most was the tree with real candles on it. We would light those Christmas morning. With the coal fire glowing and the candles twinkling it was just pure magic. Then the fact that my Dad's brothers stopped in for a Sherry. Later on my aunt and uncle would come over for the day and my Nan and Granddad would come too. We would have Christmas crackers and sit with silly hats on at dinner. Lots of laughing and jokes and stories and neighbours popping in and out all day long. When I was older I went with my Dad to visit his aunt and his Father. Mum would never go, she did not like my Granddad Burt. I went with Dad though and it was a further bond between us. I also got to go with the men down to the pub when I was old enough and I loved that. I remember one Christmas that it snowed, we had walked down to the Crown a pub in the village. The walk home was particularly merry and I can still see my Uncle Alan with rosy cheeks and a scarf around his neck as we threw snowballs at each other and pretended we were Yogi and BooBoo. Silly I know but well, as I said we were quite merry.
Mum always seemed to be in a snit because she had dinner ready most often 1/2 hour before the men got home from the pub. One would think she could have adjusted things but she never did and every year was the same. I think Dad just got used to it, the men would sit and snore the afternoon away until time for the Christmas cake or Christmas pudding.
I do remember looking out my bedroom window watching for Santa. The windows would be frosty and the room as cold as outdoors but sit there I would. I must have always fell asleep and now I think back I can say that my parents must have tried several ways to keep me in bed Christmas morning. One year they left my gifts on the end of the bed. Must have taken me five minutes to open them before running in to declare Santa had been. That one backfired. When the gifts were left under the tree I would go in wanting them to get up..............there is no way a parent can win on Christmas morning. I understand that now.


I am linking up with Savvy Southern Style for Wow us Wednesday

We are all of us a product of our environment and of our family. There comes a time for us all to question our family values and our family beliefs. This is a good thing. We come into our selves and we listen to our own hearts. We make our descisions based upon our life experiences. We either thrive or fail. At some point we must be responsible for who we are. Who we have become. We can not ever blame someone else when we fail. If we never fail then we have never taken chances we have never tried.