Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Visiting Alexandra............

We usually go more often. This summer has been wicked hot and humid. So we have somewhat neglected things. The other day I know I saw her looking out of Tristen's eyes and so I went and got some new plants and went over to the graveyard. Tristen was excited. He jumped up and down "I am going to my 'udder mama's house" as he calls it. I am his "new mama nanny" He knows what is what even if he may not yet fully comprehend things.
Gerry and I went and got some Asters and Pansies and off we went.
This is little Alexandra
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Here is Tristen
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Its sort of sad seeing him sitting on his mothers grave but really, it's not a sad place for him. He enjoys going and I hope that stays that way.
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These are the small Asters that I found and they go well on here
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You can see the pansies in this one.
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this is me and Tristen
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I don't mean for this to be a morbid thing, or anything creepy. I was raised with the obligation or privilege to tend family graves with my Auntie Annie. I enjoyed the time we spent together and felt a connection with long gone relations that I never knew by doing this chore. I want Tristen to feel comfortable and not sad going to visit his mother. It serves another purpose too, so that he grows up understanding where his mother is and to encourage questions.
He plays, and ironically Alex is surrounded by children. Tristen goes to visit the ones under the apple trees that have large bunnies by them.
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A very peaceful spot. It still doesn't seem possible that my lovely Alexandra lies there. She was so full of life, such a force of nature. Rest in Peace sweet girl and I hope you see your son playing here and know he is well cared for and well loved.

A peaceful place
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I will keep doing posts on this so we can see Tristen grow and see things change.

3 comments:

NanaDiana said...

He is a beautiful child and I can see that he loves you. He looks happy and well adjusted in spite of the pain that he has been through in his little life. God bless you as you raise this child of your heart. Your daughter would be proud of you for being such a good second Mama to her boy.
I used to spend a lot of time with my Aunt Bessie in the graveyard. She was kind of the grave tender to many graves in the old graveyard on top of the hill by our farm. I would take a book sometimes and sit propped up against my Uncle Al's tombstone (her hubby) while she did the usual tidying up and watering plants. I never thought it was creepy or scary at all.
I go sometimes to our sweet little Anna Bella's grave and sit and think about what she would be like now- at 8 years old...where has the time gone?
Anyway, have a good night and God bless you-You have done well- xo Diana

Anonymous said...

I think it is brilliant that he sees it as a fun place to go, because as he grows to understand more, he will associate visiting his mother as a happy experience.

Magic Love Crow said...

My friend, I think this is wonderful!!! So special! I love the picture of you both ;o) Alexandra for sure sees you and her son ;o) She is smiling, because you are doing such a wonderful job ;o) Big Hugs oxoxxo