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Friday, November 4, 2011

I chose Life...............with no regrets.

One day we were discussing abortion on Eons. I am against it in almost all cases. For me it is based in my belief in God. It is this belief in God that makes all life sacred to me and that includes animals.

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When I was 19 I became pregnant and I was not married. It was not acceptable back in the 1960s and most people found themselves married off right quickly if they got into that position. I was living in London during the week, my parents had let me move away from home on condition that I came home on weekends. To keep me out of trouble I suspect. If abortion had been legal I would have done it rather than face my parents I am sure of that and to my everlasting regret. My mothers words to me when she found out were "you will bring no bastard into this house" and so I found myself alone and confused. I stayed away and kept my life in London. I somehow managed, and I found a mother and baby home that I could move into until the baby was born and they took care of the hospital. I worked until I was 6 months along and then was not allowed to continue working. Anyway......the Mother and baby home was quite fun really, all the girls in the same position and no one could really say much about our circumstance. We were expected to work to keep the place running, each with our own jobs. I especially remember cleaning silver and scrubbing draining boards and doing dishes. After our babies came, then our jobs changed. We were taught how to take care of an infant and there were other new mothers to compare notes with and talk to so it was not too scary handling a new born.
I had to decide if I was to keep my baby or give her up for adoption. I decided to keep her and make a life for us both. I was not sure how this was going to happen but I knew I could stay there while I worked things out. I was willing to do what I had to in order to do that. My dad came to our rescue and asked us to go home. He was not going to leave me alone and more or less made my mum accept that.
My mother had given up her job in order to take care of her brothers child, my aunt was going back to work and they were paying my mum to take care of their son. So........she agreed to take care of my baby as well. I went back to work when I was allowed to when my daughter was six months old. I gave mum half what I earned for our keep and for her help. Not a whole lot in those days. I took care of my baby whenever I was not at work. Mum got attached to her as my aunt had said she would.
It has not been an easy road for me, and I have not always thought I did the right thing in not giving her up but never ever regretted not having an abortion. The whole pregnancy and birth was a wonderful experience even under those conditions. Now I know that I did the right thing, I have 4 granddaughters and a great grandson and so I know that this is what was meant to be.
My stand on abortion is this. If we take a life we do not know who we are destroying. How could I not want these beautiful girls in this world. What right did I ever have to deny them life.?
When a young girl gets pregnant she automatically wants the easy way out, but she has no idea how the descision effects her life ever after. She does not think of it as a baby in those first couple of months and is in a panic. She wants to cover the pregnancy up and she wants her life back. Well.............we have to undestand that life is not all about us....once we have chosen that path and had sex, then we need to be able to follow through and either give up the baby to someone who really wants a baby in their life, or find a way to keep the child. In that case it should be all about the baby and the mothers personal life needs to come 2nd. That is the consequence of behaving like a mature woman before you are ready. I missed out on a lot of fun by keeping my child. My friends who were still living and working in London went to Lybia and were there when Kadafi took over. The thrill of a bloodless revolution. Going to work and seeing soldiers in the streets.......going to Aden when there were all of the troubles there......I missed it all and listened to my friends stories while I was home in the country working and having no social life. I would have loved to see the Middle East back then.
Social life came soon enough. Once the baby was sleeping through the night I could go out again when I wanted to. I always put her to bed and got her up in the morning no matter how late I got home. I was always there when she was sick.....took care of all her needs, but my mother was there as well.
My mum was one of those women who worried about "what will the neighbors think" our name and reputation was ruined she said..........what I learned was that every single one of them were by my side and helped me when they could. They were there for me, they found reasons to help me out and took an interest in my child and supported me emotionally. I learned what it means when they say "It takes a village to raise a child" ...........I had enough love and support from everyone I knew, everyone stood by me and so my mother eventually came around. My dad was always my rock and my continual support. They never met my grandchildren but would have been proud of each of them.
I eventually got married and had two more children in England and at home, thank heaven for the health care system there.
My two boys and my daughter have never thought of themselves as 1/2 brothers and sister. They forget they have different fathers and thats the way it should be.
Thats my story and why I am against abortion. There is another way. We should not kill what we do not know..........God has blessed me and He is my strength. The whole experience made me stronger and self reliant and after that I knew I could do anything on my own and I did not need anyone else to rely on only my Lord.
I can not sit in judgement on people who made a different choice but please don't defend that choice by saying its a fetus and not a child. At least mourn the life that could have been and give it deep thought because there really are other choices. I also believe that if its a question of the making a choice between the life of mother or child then it is the choice of those involved and their doctor. So for that reason I believe abortion should not be illegal. The answer lies in peoples morals and not the law. In education and conscience. I realize that not everyone believes in God and can not be bound by my beliefs but the world would still be a better place if people honoured life and respected it.

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