Dreams....................

What are dreams?

I dreamed of Joe last night. We were probably at the Airman's Club at Chicksands. I was married to Gerry but Joe was there. I find that a lot of dreams are about emotions and feelings rather than words. I am not sure what the dream was about now but I know I was trying to help Joe. It took place in England and partly at my parents home. In fact we were trying to buy it, Gerry and I that is. I have dreamed a lot about going home lately. Must be some underlying need to go back. In my dream Joe was still a part of my life and I was worried about him.
Anyway, regarding Joe. I know that recently he has dealt with cancer, so now I am wondering how he is. I seem to have this thing about dreaming about friends who are either having health or personal problems. Usually something is wrong.
Joe on the left with Gerry on right. ( I can't find Joe on Facebook now)

I got in touch with an old friend, Pat, a while ago because for some reason I dreamed of him. Had not really thought about him in awhile. So PM'd him. He was going through a difficult patch so we were able to chat and catch up. That happens sometimes, I get a feeling someone is in trouble somehow. I used to dream of Graham (Laura's father) often before he showed up or phoned or wrote for some reason.
A few nights ago I dreamed of a girl friend I knew at my very first job, why all of a sudden did she come to my mind. Maybe it's an age thing, our mind goes over the past and all the people we once knew. Are they still living? I really don't like loosing touch with people.

So really? What are dreams? I don't think anyone has a good explanation do you?
I have read stories where people say that you actually do meet these people from your dreams on a different plane of existence. If that were true would they not be dreaming of you at the same time? I can't really buy into that theory. I do think there may be another realm though. Not sure how to explain that.
They say certain things in dreams have meaning. Again I can not buy into that one. To interpret dreams, is that a hoax?

However, in the Bible dreams were used by God to send messages to people He was working with. When Joseph was in Egypt he was used by God to give dream interpretations to the Pharaoh. I suppose it is still possible that could happen, but I think you would not have any doubt about what it was you were dreaming. If it comes from God it would be clear and not be misunderstood. I do know that sometimes I get some ideas and direction from things I dream about. You know, I wake up thinking wow that's a good idea.
However, my dreams are usually mundane.

I way too often dream about work and people I knew at work and who are now deceased. In fact two of my friends who are deceased often show up in my dreams. So either I have a need for people to populate my dreams and my current availability of friends is so limited that I have to populate my dreams with those who have passed, or my friends who are gone want to stay in touch. I dream about work a lot, even though I have been retired from work for many years. Do I miss work? No, I don't. I do miss the people on occasion but not THAT much. Usually when I dream about work I am doing things that I did in real life but I am "catching up" because I am way behind. Well I would be after so many years right.

Some dreams are fantastic. I can fly, I can swim under water. A wonderful feeling of freedom when I can fly. Is that something we will be able to do in the life to come?
Most dreams I can trace back to waking moments, things happen and show up in my dreams. I often dream of pets who are now gone.
I have dreamed of my horse Lady, and we can talk to each other in those dreams. One I remember she was riding in my car as a passenger and had her legs crossed like a person would. We were talking. I think that comes out as I treat my animals as people and so when they show up in dreams they are acting like people.
I dream of my poodles who are gone and in my dreams I have lost them somehow and spend my time looking for them.

Well anyway, just a few thoughts here, I was just wondering why I dreamed of Joe...........I hope he is OK. He married a girl from Luton back in the day. What a shame she came all this way to the US and died. Must have been terrible for her family. Joe remarried and moved to Arizona I think. Anyway, I must see if I can look him up and see if he is doing OK. I wont get in touch, just have a look. I will always care about him, and it was so nice to see the young man he once was, if only in my dreams. We are all old now........so sad. .

A Day with Tristen...........................

August 19th we had Tristen Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon. We had a busy couple of days. We don't get him very often and so when we do we try to make it special. He loves to see Bessie, HIS cat.

The first thing we did was to take both boys to Toys R Us. I allowed 50 dollars each to buy something they wanted. Tristen already knew what he wanted and so went with a purpose. He wanted Lego's. Poor Cooper was overwhelmed, he had no idea what to get. He got a bag for school to begin with and then on to check out every aisle until he finally settled on some
"Aquanauts" a toy based on a TV show he likes, along with a couple of characters to go with it. I bought a couple of things to share with the kids when I baby sit.
We left there and our ultimate destination was Gallagher's farm market to pick up a cherry pie.
On the way out there we first stopped at Twin Lakes park. Gabby had not been there and I figured it was close and would burn some energy up.

Its only a small park, but it is on a lake. There was an accident there last year and so this year they have the play area roped off. The lake gets very deep very quickly.

It will be a nice place to take Cooper that's quite close for me to drive to.



Even Gabby had a go

There are some nice things to play with.

There are some nice trails out there as well but we didn't go exploring it was too hot.


The Twin Lakes camp used to be a place kids went for recovery, Gerry went when he had Rheumatic Fever. Later it was a girl/boy scout camp. Now it has been taken over by the county I believe. Anyway its now open to the public.
One of the old cabins

When we left we took them to see where Gerry is currently working. Tristen has done that often, he enjoys it when they have the large equipment. This time it was just a nice big pile of dirt. Any little boy will love that. You should see my carpet when they got home.


I sent Gerry and Tristen back Sunday morning to grab some rocks for my garden.
Next on the agenda was to stop out at Gallagher's. Always a fun stop for them.
Poor Piggies.......


They were happy to get an ice cream cone. I enjoyed it too. I am not really crazy about ice cream but I do like a good Black Cherry. The boys enjoy the Superman stuff. Gabby had mint chocolate chip.

After that they played while I took some pictures.

We got our pie and some donuts for later. Some pizza bread that they make, only two left and we got them. I forgot the watermelon and had to send Gerry in for that.
The kids were pretty much contented for the rest of the day. Next day I had Gerry and Tristen go get my stones at the building site and he later took Tristen back to the park for a dip in the lake. I think Tristen had a good weekend and as always was sad to go back. He had 3 baths in the time he was with us because at Laura's he only gets showers. Sigh.......he was asking about when we can take him to England. Maybe in 2 years when he is a bit older and maybe we are in a bit better relationship with Laura H.
He played with his lego and I think Gerry spent most of the weekend helping to put it together

After that he was exhausted haha

Chicksands...............................

Those were the days.............after I had gone back to work, the Cali' days were done. I seldom went out because after work I had a baby to care for. As she got older, had a set bedtime and there was always someone in the house....then I felt free to have somewhat of a social life. I was not dating for quite some time. Meeting people for one thing, was difficult. Margaret and Sheila I believe were married by then. At any rate I was too busy. Once in awhile I might go out with a friend to a movie or maybe a pub, but not often. Work was usually where we met people. Goodness knows how they do it these days with all the rules regarding sexual harassment. That was the best part of work, meeting new guys.

At some point I was dating Paul from the computer room but I never introduced Laura to anyone I dated. That was a separate life. I had no intention of getting her involved or attached to anyone I was with because I had no plans to marry. So there was no point. Paul asked me about that, why didn't I tell him? Well because it was none of his business is why and unless we were serious, and I was not, then it would not concern him. He understood. I can't see letting a child get attached to "uncle" so and so and then him walking away.
I honestly cant remember anyone else at that time. He was probably the last English guy I went out with.

Chicksands. An RAF base turned over to the Yanks. Chicksands played a huge part in the Second World War by receiving signals which were later decoded at Bletchley Park, where the German Enigma code was broken.
My Dad did not like Americans, his wartime experiences and the reputation they had in England was enough to put him off. Once he met some that I brought home then he changed his mind. Especially when they called him Sir.
Chicksands Priory and the ghost of a nun who had got pregnant and walled up alive inside.
I said in my last post that my friend Chris was dating an American. He was from Chicksands and her cousin Pauline was also dating a guy from there, actually was engaged and married him, and they had introduced Chris to Randy. She was all happy about the "Club" and I got invited over, took Paul with me. He enjoyed it but could see that I was enthralled and after that as he said, he could not compete.

So it was that Friday and Saturday nights, sometimes Sunday and Wednesday we went to the club. We went about as often as we could. The Airman's Club had a dance floor a stage with a band and they had a floor show. The drinks were 25 cents. No hanky panky in the club, no sitting on laps, no kissing on the dance floor. We went by taxi and were escorted in, we were escorted out and up to where we got our taxi home. It was after all a communications base and supposedly top secret. I felt safe there . It was so much fun and well, what can I say, it was all young men. Mostly first time away from home. It was also during Vietnam. Randy (soon to be Chris's husband) had been in the Phillipines prior to coming to England. He went to Vietnam after they married, that had to be really hard for her.
We had to sign in at the gate and be escorted to the club, or have our boyfriend come get us.

Once we started going we got others to join us. There was Shirley, Diane, Denise, Lynn, Sylvia and Sally who were regulars along with Pauline and Chris. Every one of us married Americans. Every one of us are still married. There were a few more who came that we didn't hang out with as often but worked either with us or Sally. My memory is foggy there. At any rate if we went Wednesday night woe betide us Thursday morning at work. Diane sat behind me at work and I think we both had occasion to wake the other up. At least a couple of times we were out all night, I got home in time to get Laura up and ready for the day and change and get off to work. There were inevitable parties to go to in Bedford and around when people lived off base. It was great because we all knew each other.
The Elephant cage.

We didn't think too much about the war going on over in Vietnam we were too busy enjoying life. There were times though that we heard someone we knew had died, but not being American it was a far off thing. I dated one guy whose brother committed suicide, he came from California. I liked him. He wanted to go out with me but said right off he would never marry me, that was great because I had no such interest. He had to go home when that happened and once he had gone home that was it. One guy was a constant though. Joe..........I think I loved him in a way. Whenever I broke up with someone I was back with Joe. He asked me to marry him, he came from New York. (I didn't know he meant New York State) I said no. He was looking for a wife apparently because he married within six months. He had given me a month to think about it and I didn't see him until the night he wanted an answer. I just couldn't. Sigh!!! I think if he had sat down and talked to me away from the club it may have been different. I did love him.
Joe and Gerry, they were friends too.

Then there was Terry........he was from Pennsylvania I said no to him too and he took off for Pakistan. I liked him but, before we started dating he was with a woman who got pregnant by him. He didn't want to marry her because she was a little older than him and he felt she would be "past it" long before he was..........yeh like I would want him. Bye bye. I did go with him long enough for him to meet Laura at least once when we went to the zoo together.

Most guys never made it past six months with me, I always found some good reason to break up. I got bored easy. Also it didn't seem fair to them if they were indeed looking for marriage.
There was a certain culture there I found out, Americans did not think they same way we did. Some guys knew they didn't want to get serious and only went with girls that would sleep with them. Well who wants them right!.........I got interested in someone named Ken, he happened to be black. I would dance with him and smooch, I really liked him. I asked my Dad what he would think if I married a black man. My Dad said, "Because of him being American I would advise you not to, but if you did I would support you 100%" remember how volatile the 1960 were in America. Then this guy I knew came to me and said you need to know that the "white" guys (he was Hispanic) will not date you if you keep dancing with Ken. They believe if you are dancing with him you are sleeping with him. ( I was very indignant, this person knew me enough to know I didn't) I said "I don't care, I will do what I want you can spread the word. You know I am not and if they don't know me, then they can think what they like". Well it fizzled out quickly with Ken because, well, it was sad. I won't go into that. I was used to being friends with many different nationalities after London.
After that it was a long time before the "white" guys would come dance with me. I didn't care, I had Joe. I probably should have married Joe. I just was not ready for marriage.
My Mother called me a whore for going over there to the base. She had a way with words. I didn't care, I knew I was not doing anything wrong. I sure as heck was taking no chances on getting a reputation there or getting pregnant thank you very much. The guys there knew the ones who would and the ones who would not and respected that I think. Maybe not, who knows, but they certainly knew if you didn't and no one ever pushed me. I do remember one guy who took me home. He parked at the end of Margaret's drive to Grove Farm and tried to make me give in, because I said no he asked if I was a Lesbian. What a cheek!, he said he could dump me right there by the side of the road, I went to get out (I would have gone up to the farm) but he relented and took me home. There's always one.
We did like to drink. That really helped me get rid of my inhibitions, to not be so shy. I would not have been able to walk into the place without a drink, we usually had one before leaving home. I only got drunk a couple of times but sure managed to get very happy most times.
I do remember the one occasion quite well that I did over do it. It was funny and it was not. OK, I will tell you.
This time I had gone to visit Chris and to see her new baby, she was married now and living in Luton (I think) I had no intention of drinking at all. Randy and friends came home later and gave us a drink. Some how something had to have been put in my drink (not by Randy) and I blacked out. I remember sitting on the edge of the tub not feeling so good and falling in and giggling. After that I remember nothing until I got home.
Well next day I told Chris I had a very strange dream about the guy at her house trying to get me in bed...............she said it was not a dream, I guess he would have raped me had Randy not heard me yell and got him off me. She said their bed broke that night when they got in it haha......I have no idea what his name was now but he was in a helicopter crash in Vietnam and died.
Me and Gerry at Rick and Sally's wedding.

I got a taxi home and I remember giggling because I could not get the key in the door and was swaying all over the place and shushing myself. Didn't want to wake anyone up. Well I got in and promptly fell up the stairs, giggle giggle. Got in bed and went to turn off the lamp and knocked it over. I was hanging out the bed trying to retrieve it when Mum came in "Have you been drinking?" ......."Who me?. Noooooo not at all, nite nite" alls well that ends well. I didn't do that again. We enjoyed our drinks but were safe because of the taxi service that took us back and forth. Pete's Taxi. Never to be forgotten. I bet their drivers could tell some tales.
Rick and Sally's wedding

At some point Sally was dating Gerry and his friend Rick wanted her, so Gerry started dating me. Rick and Sally got married and me and Gerry got married. We are both still married.
Gerry home on vacation, when he went back we started seeing each other.

I don't know why I changed my mind. I think I reached the point that I was tired of getting to know new people and having no long term goals. There seemed no point in dating unless it was going somewhere, I was tired of starting over. So when he asked me, this time I was ready.
Chris and Denise were bridesmaids.

Joe is one of the guys there at my wedding.

We have been married since 1971.....do the math.

Back home after London............................

After Laura was born, life as a new mother was different at Beechwood. We no longer had the chores. I enjoyed my life there and was content to stay. They made me feel I could stay as long as I needed. I read a persons review of Beechwood and how horrible it was. That was not my experience except for the initial run in with the nurse. They taught me all I needed to know about babies and how to care for them. I could have visitors. My friend Sheila remembers coming up to see me and that Laura was the only baby wearing a dress. I had knitted for her and so did Mum, getting a layette together was fun. Laura was 8 pounds 8oz when she was born. Although they had initially been concerned that my hips were not wide enough I had no trouble delivering after all. I was never cut, never split. I had no gas and air, no shots, no meds nothing but a completely natural child birth. I actually enjoyed it. After I felt great, full of energy. I can't say I felt that way after I had the boys later on. Although I always had a natural birth with no meds etc. I always enjoyed being pregnant (apart from morning sickness) and child birth was never horrible for me.
I can not remember the journey up to Beechwood, my Aunt Liz remembers her and Mum taking me and settling me in. If I do remember its very vague. I didn't need much to take with me that's for sure. Maybe my mind shuts down when things are unpleasant because I don't remember that at all.
(Dad with Laura)

After Laura was born I was able to think about things. What did I want to do. At that point I was not expecting to go home. I was thinking maybe a flat with a room mate. Something on that order. I was going to keep my baby no matter what but had not yet worked through any plans. They would help me with that had it been necessary. In England the social services are wonderful. It could have been hell, but was not. I had choices. They would have helped get a place to live and I would have qualified for assistance. I didn't get into that because Dad wanted me to go home. He wanted that baby right there. Mum was in a more tolerable state of mind once she realized that it was a baby like any other and latched on to that idea. She adored Laura. Me, well I was always on the outs with her one way or other but life was good. I went home just before Christmas as far as I remember.

Life settled into a routine and we got used to each other again. Mum was watching Mark while Liz went to work and so when it was time for me to go back to work, after 6 weeks, she watched Laura too.

I had asked to go back to AC Delco, and because Liz was head of personnel by then she had some influence. My supervisor was not at all happy to take me back and said as much. I will explain.

I started work at Delco and all was well until I turned 18. At that time the women from our department and others in the offices were made to pay out the wages in the factory. I have explained this before I am sure. It involved carrying a tray with the wage packets full of cash. No security at all. I didn't mind that part but I did mind all the attention we got from the men/boys in the factory. I was very shy and introverted and it was hell for me. Oh I didn't mind attention from men, but not in groups and the women were bitchy. They regarded anyone in the offices as snobs at least that was my impression.
So, I refused. I said it is not in my contract and I do not have to do it. I was right, I didn't but our supervisor Miss Thurman told me that although she could not make me, she could make life very difficult for me. With that I broke the news I already had another job in Luton. Of all the women who backed me on my protest only one went as far as to leave with me. Everyone had their reasons.
So, here I was, needing my job back. I learned one does not burn bridges unless one wants to eat humble pie. Miss Thurman said outright she did not want me back but was not given a choice. She said "and you WILL pay out the wages to the factory" and I did, with the parting shot of "It is in my contract now so yes I will"
I was older and not so unhappy about it, had a bit more confidence in myself by then. I also needed the job. I stayed there until I got married. Miss Thurman and I got along very well in the end and wrote to each other after she retired. I was a good worker and she knew it.
(me with Mark, just before I got pregnant, or maybe I already was)

I still knew some of the people who worked there and much later I started to have a social life again.
I did not date for a very long time. Or so it seems. I did eventually date a lad from the computer room that was next to ours. He liked me and he was OK, we spent a weekend away together. It was fun but well, nothing special. I decided I just was not ready for commitments and was not in love.
About that time my friend Chris started to date an American, they invited us (me and Paul) to go to the club on the base at Chicksands. I never looked back. Paul said he could not compete with that and he was right.

Meanwhile, I took care of my child once I got off work and until she was in bed for the night. I got her up in the morning and got her dressed most of the time and if she woke during the night I was there. I did start to go out a bit more, usually on the weekends. Mum and Dad both liked Paul but that was a no go. I am sure they hoped I would get married. I didn't plan on it.
(Laura with Poppett)

One day I was out with Dad and we stopped at The Norman King for a drink. Who should be there but my old boyfriend Mick. Dad told him to "stop in any time" (thanks dad) and he did. We went out somewhere and he had noticed the toys in the living room and asked me about it. I told him my story. His sister had got pregnant and married an American and the fact that I was going to the base, in his mind meant I was sleeping around. I had the kid to prove it right? Wrong. The last thing I wanted was a reputation at the base. I never slept with anyone there, not until I was going to get married. I was not at all bothered by his reaction, it was Dads idea not mine as he liked Mick. We didn't see each other again.
(earlier days with Mick, and Sheila and her Mick)

One day Mum said "who's that walking down the road? It looks like Graham" It was.........I went out and stopped him and he came in. The one and only time he saw Laura.
I had nothing to say to him. He held her and she cried haha. He wrote to me after that and asked me to meet him again to "talk" and by then I was engaged. I agreed to meet at the station but he didn't show up. He wrote to say he had gone on a ship for some work that came up. He phoned me once when I was in the States. His son Paul was coming over and would I be there for him if anything went wrong. I said yes of course I would. He did fine and I never heard from him. Graham wrote to me again asking me to go home where I belonged and get back with him............AS IF!!!!!.......he must have been going through a rough patch. He was living with someone in Wales and tending sheep. He asked if he could contact Laura and I said wait until she is 18 and then you are welcome to do so. He did and they were in touch on and off till he died. She got an inheritance from his father later on when he died. He was generous and left money to each of his grandchildren. Laura got 35,000 dollars.
(Me and Laura with Poppett)

Laura did not stay in touch with her 1/2 brother and sister, she's not good at that. I could be kind and say Graham changed as he got older but, I don't think he did in many ways, otherwise why would he ask me to go home when he was living with a woman for many years. I don't know what happened to Carole, his wife but believe she was well rid of him when it came down to it. They were both young and I hope she had a happy life.
(me with Laura at Christmas at mums house)

Those days spent at Chicksands were some of the best of my life. What fun it was. So many memories and life long friends came from those years. Unlike Laura, I am good at staying in touch. Friends are precious and I keep them all as close as I can.