Back home after London............................

After Laura was born, life as a new mother was different at Beechwood. We no longer had the chores. I enjoyed my life there and was content to stay. They made me feel I could stay as long as I needed. I read a persons review of Beechwood and how horrible it was. That was not my experience except for the initial run in with the nurse. They taught me all I needed to know about babies and how to care for them. I could have visitors. My friend Sheila remembers coming up to see me and that Laura was the only baby wearing a dress. I had knitted for her and so did Mum, getting a layette together was fun. Laura was 8 pounds 8oz when she was born. Although they had initially been concerned that my hips were not wide enough I had no trouble delivering after all. I was never cut, never split. I had no gas and air, no shots, no meds nothing but a completely natural child birth. I actually enjoyed it. After I felt great, full of energy. I can't say I felt that way after I had the boys later on. Although I always had a natural birth with no meds etc. I always enjoyed being pregnant (apart from morning sickness) and child birth was never horrible for me.
I can not remember the journey up to Beechwood, my Aunt Liz remembers her and Mum taking me and settling me in. If I do remember its very vague. I didn't need much to take with me that's for sure. Maybe my mind shuts down when things are unpleasant because I don't remember that at all.
(Dad with Laura)

After Laura was born I was able to think about things. What did I want to do. At that point I was not expecting to go home. I was thinking maybe a flat with a room mate. Something on that order. I was going to keep my baby no matter what but had not yet worked through any plans. They would help me with that had it been necessary. In England the social services are wonderful. It could have been hell, but was not. I had choices. They would have helped get a place to live and I would have qualified for assistance. I didn't get into that because Dad wanted me to go home. He wanted that baby right there. Mum was in a more tolerable state of mind once she realized that it was a baby like any other and latched on to that idea. She adored Laura. Me, well I was always on the outs with her one way or other but life was good. I went home just before Christmas as far as I remember.

Life settled into a routine and we got used to each other again. Mum was watching Mark while Liz went to work and so when it was time for me to go back to work, after 6 weeks, she watched Laura too.

I had asked to go back to AC Delco, and because Liz was head of personnel by then she had some influence. My supervisor was not at all happy to take me back and said as much. I will explain.

I started work at Delco and all was well until I turned 18. At that time the women from our department and others in the offices were made to pay out the wages in the factory. I have explained this before I am sure. It involved carrying a tray with the wage packets full of cash. No security at all. I didn't mind that part but I did mind all the attention we got from the men/boys in the factory. I was very shy and introverted and it was hell for me. Oh I didn't mind attention from men, but not in groups and the women were bitchy. They regarded anyone in the offices as snobs at least that was my impression.
So, I refused. I said it is not in my contract and I do not have to do it. I was right, I didn't but our supervisor Miss Thurman told me that although she could not make me, she could make life very difficult for me. With that I broke the news I already had another job in Luton. Of all the women who backed me on my protest only one went as far as to leave with me. Everyone had their reasons.
So, here I was, needing my job back. I learned one does not burn bridges unless one wants to eat humble pie. Miss Thurman said outright she did not want me back but was not given a choice. She said "and you WILL pay out the wages to the factory" and I did, with the parting shot of "It is in my contract now so yes I will"
I was older and not so unhappy about it, had a bit more confidence in myself by then. I also needed the job. I stayed there until I got married. Miss Thurman and I got along very well in the end and wrote to each other after she retired. I was a good worker and she knew it.
(me with Mark, just before I got pregnant, or maybe I already was)

I still knew some of the people who worked there and much later I started to have a social life again.
I did not date for a very long time. Or so it seems. I did eventually date a lad from the computer room that was next to ours. He liked me and he was OK, we spent a weekend away together. It was fun but well, nothing special. I decided I just was not ready for commitments and was not in love.
About that time my friend Chris started to date an American, they invited us (me and Paul) to go to the club on the base at Chicksands. I never looked back. Paul said he could not compete with that and he was right.

Meanwhile, I took care of my child once I got off work and until she was in bed for the night. I got her up in the morning and got her dressed most of the time and if she woke during the night I was there. I did start to go out a bit more, usually on the weekends. Mum and Dad both liked Paul but that was a no go. I am sure they hoped I would get married. I didn't plan on it.
(Laura with Poppett)

One day I was out with Dad and we stopped at The Norman King for a drink. Who should be there but my old boyfriend Mick. Dad told him to "stop in any time" (thanks dad) and he did. We went out somewhere and he had noticed the toys in the living room and asked me about it. I told him my story. His sister had got pregnant and married an American and the fact that I was going to the base, in his mind meant I was sleeping around. I had the kid to prove it right? Wrong. The last thing I wanted was a reputation at the base. I never slept with anyone there, not until I was going to get married. I was not at all bothered by his reaction, it was Dads idea not mine as he liked Mick. We didn't see each other again.
(earlier days with Mick, and Sheila and her Mick)

One day Mum said "who's that walking down the road? It looks like Graham" It was.........I went out and stopped him and he came in. The one and only time he saw Laura.
I had nothing to say to him. He held her and she cried haha. He wrote to me after that and asked me to meet him again to "talk" and by then I was engaged. I agreed to meet at the station but he didn't show up. He wrote to say he had gone on a ship for some work that came up. He phoned me once when I was in the States. His son Paul was coming over and would I be there for him if anything went wrong. I said yes of course I would. He did fine and I never heard from him. Graham wrote to me again asking me to go home where I belonged and get back with him............AS IF!!!!!.......he must have been going through a rough patch. He was living with someone in Wales and tending sheep. He asked if he could contact Laura and I said wait until she is 18 and then you are welcome to do so. He did and they were in touch on and off till he died. She got an inheritance from his father later on when he died. He was generous and left money to each of his grandchildren. Laura got 35,000 dollars.
(Me and Laura with Poppett)

Laura did not stay in touch with her 1/2 brother and sister, she's not good at that. I could be kind and say Graham changed as he got older but, I don't think he did in many ways, otherwise why would he ask me to go home when he was living with a woman for many years. I don't know what happened to Carole, his wife but believe she was well rid of him when it came down to it. They were both young and I hope she had a happy life.
(me with Laura at Christmas at mums house)

Those days spent at Chicksands were some of the best of my life. What fun it was. So many memories and life long friends came from those years. Unlike Laura, I am good at staying in touch. Friends are precious and I keep them all as close as I can.