Gratitude...............................

Most of my adult life I have been grateful. First off I was very grateful for an almost idyllic childhood. If I put aside some of my feelings of inadequacy, maybe that's not the right word, lack of confidence. For example going into a strange place and someone laughs, I want to run and hide because I always feel that's something is wrong with me. Maybe too self conscious or self centered? I had no confidence whatsoever. That was not a part of what made childhood great. I spent a good deal of time on my own. Me and my Poodle pal Poppett. Our very first Poodle.

We would walk for miles, literally miles over the fields. No danger that I knew about back then. The village was small, a farming village lazy and quiet. During my childhood it began to change as they tore down the Tithe Barn and farm to make room for Londoners. They came to work at Vauxhall and other car factories, escaping the bombed out places in London and finding new lives and new work. That was not my concern at that time. It was "behind" the village itself and that remained unchanged.

When we moved to Bidwell Hill when I was about 4 I started to make some friends. My first was Jennifer Bright. She lived on the Hill too and was the same age. At that time there was an elderly couple living next door, Mr and Mrs Thompkins but later they moved and the MacDonalds moved in. Dawn was around my age, a little younger, but her bedroom was next to mine. We could tap on the wall or shout out the window and see each other. We even tried the cans on the strings thingie for a telephone. She loved to walk over the fields too so we were often together.
We were fortunate I suppose because farmers said not a thing to kids who would traipse through their fields. We knew though, we had been taught, you stay on the footpath and never ever damage crops. You shut gates and watch out for electric fences. I remember our first encounter with one of those. Mr Greens field of cows. So we stood and looked at it. Saw the box ticking, but we wondered what it would be like to touch it. We first got a stick, nothing happened. So I grabbed it in my hand, nothing......1 2 3 4 5 and bam. OK so it was not continuous it pulsed. Did not really hurt but gave a good jolt, enough to not want to repeat the experiment. I remember that same field of cows when one day I was there with Mick Bird and his little dog who shall remain nameless. Well we were walking through the field coming back from who knows where and the cows saw the dog. Cows being curious creatures started to run to us. So Mick and the dog ran and dived under the barbed wire fence and prickly hedge.................dive under he yells. I ran and ran, and the cows no doubt thinking I was running from something ran after me. The thundering herd..........I did run closer to the fence and eventually found a spot I could get under. Back then we wore dresses and I can only imagine the state I went home in sometimes.
Bluewaters

Mick and I were good friends until he reached the age when he was interested in other things and I was just a kid. So then Dawn and I did more together. I have said it often enough, back then my best friend was Margaret and we would hang out down her farm, Grove Farm. We had the run of the place and I learned so much about nature and farms and so on and yet.......we remained innocent of what actually went on with the animals once they left the farm. We figured they went to another home after the sheep were shorn and the baby cows got bigger.
It was the hens that gave us the most fun.
Grove Farm from the fields


Me in the hay with Poppett who went everywhere with me

Well, I probably lived a childhood much like my father and his father before him. Same village and not a lot of change. We went from gas lights to electric street lights. The one at the top of the steps that went from Bidwell estate down to Bedford road was always broken for some reason.

Well I won't tell but now know who did that. We have a page on Facebook that I run called Houghton Regis back in the day. My neighbours across the road had 4 boys and they had friends and you know how it is boys will be boys and that there electricity was new and all that. It is a wonder they grew up.
There was an old Mill in the village up behind Top School. It was just a relic in our day but I think every kid in the village tried to climb it. Then the Bluewaters, and abandoned chalk pit our most favourite place to play. The Baulk another favourite place with a river, actually a marsh from underground springs. All those places we made dens and were outside dawn to dusk. So many memories although I must say I didn't do half what my Dad did when he was a kid, if only I had known then.

As we got older my parents started to take family vacations with Ray and Dot (now Liz) to Norfolk and Margaret came with us. We had by that time discovered boys. That was about all we though about. One year we stayed in a cottage on the river Bure and it had a little summer house at the end of the garden on the river. Margaret and I stayed there. I wonder if my parents heard the smack of oars when boys would row by and maybe stop for a chat. We were a bit young to realize that it was probably not OK, but we were innocent then. We had some good vacations and always looked forwards to summer romances.
Me and Margaret by the summer house.

Mum, me and Margaret probably a year later than the one above.

We left school and started work, Margaret a year before me and because of that I didn't want to stay on at school and go for higher education. I had no ambition and no idea what I wanted to do. I was done with school and wanted to move on, no one discouraged me. I started work just after my 15th birthday. I met lifelong friends there over the years and for those I am forever grateful. Margaret and I and a new friend from work, Sheila would go out every weekend to the Cali (California ballroom) and we saw all the up and coming groups there. We went to concerts and when we wanted to stay out overnight we would stay at a married friends house. I still have all those same friends except for those who have passed on. To me friendship has been the very most important thing in life. They are a source of much gratitude for me.

The guy on the left yawning, was the one who wrote "the crying game"

Later after Margaret and Sheila were married and I had gone to London, I had Laura and moved back home. Then again my friends were all there for me. When Laura was probably about a year and I had been working for awhile I started to go out again and get my life back. When we started to go to the Airman's Club at Chicksands it was probably one of the happiest and most fun parts of life. I think all of us who went there feel the same. We all married Americans. I eventually moved to the States although my children were born in England. We always intended to go back but that never happened. Probably my only regret although, again, I met good and lasting friends here over the years. I do not like American politics and attitudes but love the country itself. I am always a nature girl and will always love the outdoors. I must say that England is much more friendly than it is here. We can not "roam" free like we did at home. So many restrictions.
Michigan is a beautiful place, at least it is up here where we live and again I am grateful for that.

I had never really wanted to come to the States, I had two other boyfriend who asked me to marry them but I didn't want to live in Pennsylvania or New York (State), I didn't want to move. Maybe had I known I would end up here I would not have married but we intended to live in England. It just didn't work out that way. The Lord knows what is best and I trust Him in that. Maybe had I stayed in England I would not have found my love of the Lord, the one who has seen me through troubles and trials that I could not have got through without Him in my life. So there is that and I do not believe in regrets............a waste of time. I just enjoy what I have without wishing and wanting more. Oh I have goals, dreams and plans but if they don't happen that is fine by me. Material things are just things, even though I am grateful for them. they say Gratitude makes what you have enough. I believe that. Look at the world and what is happening to people in Syria............I am so grateful to have lived when and where I have. I just wish others had been as blessed, although I do believe that attitude is everything. Life is a lesson to prepare us for eternity.
I am also grateful for my family, that really goes without saying. Although maybe not, a lot of people do not get along with family. I love mine. I do wish I could spend more time with my family back home, I do miss them and miss that I did not have a relationship with my cousins. Still Facebook has made it easy to stay in touch and again I am grateful for that. This is dragging on so maybe family will be another story.

Living with Diabetes 2....................

Surprise surprise. Yes I have it, Diabetes 2. So now what?. My blood tests are always crappy. It does not seem to matter what I do there is always something.
I have fought high cholesterol for many years. As I reached 40 I seemed to start with the weight problems. I remember when I was young in my 20s and at a size 4 or 5 I thought I was "fat" I always seemed to have a problem, always on a diet. I was 112 and wanted to be 110 and settled down at 115. So for a while I was size 7 and although not happy with that as I thought I was still fleshy I decided I could live with it.
Here I am possibly 125 1bs

Once I passed 40 though it was more of a struggle and I went up to 121. Oooooh nooooo. I figured well it cant get too much worse, I was working out with weights and told myself it was muscle. Then the day came and it was 130. Again, well I can't get much worse. I was during all this time dieting one way or other. Weight watchers, and low carb. Atkins. Tried Mahong and liked that but then was worried about the health effects. So stopped that. Then came 140 and now I was worried, still dieting, back to Weight Watchers. I would struggle and take off a few pounds. I wanted 20 pounds off and be 120 again, nope..........150 my body said. Back then I was not even concerned with cholesterol and stuff like that. I had my annual physical and worried more about breast cancer and my Pap tests. When I hit 150 I was panicking. Nothing worked. My doctor said it was my metabolism and we found my Thyroid was not working as it should. So began the pills. Started with Thyroid and got that under control. Then the cholesterol was worrying the doctor and my blood pressure. 160 came and went on to 170. Loose weight he said. Good grief I have been losing weight all my adult life but it just will not stay off. Now during this time no one said anything about my Blood. We tried several different meds for cholesterol and none worked for me, they had so many side effects. I reached 180.
Probably 150bs

I walk during the summer months while it os not too hot. I am active in my garden and house. I love hiking in the woods. I diet and go up and down. I am learning what lowers my sugar, spices and herbs and what veggies and fruits I should and should not eat. Seems if I like it I can not eat it.

Then one summer I went on a different diet, I cut out Potatoes, rice, pasta and bread. Very difficult for me because I do not really have a sweet tooth. Anyway I did manage to get down again to 164 then came Thanksgiving and Christmas, I put back and lost 5 pounds. Around this time I stopped eating meat, red meat. No beef or pork (never did eat lamp or veal) and that really helped my cholesterol. I got a really good result after that but it didn't last.

I started to really get into baking and loved to make bread. Well, I learned alright and I also ate it. So back crept the weight.
With that came my blood sugar problems. When I went to the doc the next time my blood work showed pre diabetes 124. He did not want to diagnose me so had me consult with someone, but she really could not tell me anything I did not already know. So again I tried my best but, sugar went up. Then there was a break through. I had a wonderful blood test result (as I mentioned above). I told him he got the wrong persons tests, but he said no, it's yours so as my blood pressure was low and making me lethargic (I was on 3 pills) he took me off 2 of them and I cut out the cholesterol meds and lowered my thyroid medicine. Next check up in 3 months and it was all creeping back, not as bad but now the added sugar problem. So back on the meds again. Then my blood sugar crossed the line to 125.
He gave me Metformin and I took that for a week before taking myself off of it. It made my insides very angry. Next visit I pretty much told him what to do with it, but he said with my cholesterol high and my blood sugar he was worried about a heart attack. Sigh..............so I started taking the Metformin. My friend Edna told me that she got over the side effects after a couple of weeks so that encouraged me. I have been taking it for awhile now but still plays me up. I bought a kit to test my blood sugar. It does not seem to help much. As with all my other medications, they just do not work for me. However, I am back on the low carb diet and have lost a few pounds. My numbers are still high but I take my blood pressure every day and check my blood sugar.

Today I was 174 lbs my blood pressure was 141/98 pulse 77 and my blood sugar was 128. Good for me. Edna told me about apple sauce, she said it lowered hers so I tried it. Cant eat apples all day though but will add that to my daily regime. You know, and apple a day keeps the doctor a way. The man has me in there every 3 months darn it all.
Topped at 180

So what have I learned?. I can not eat anything and stay healthy. Bummer. Haha. So I am experimenting with vegetables. The ones they say lower things, lucky I like veggies. Sigh!!!!! If I want a treat I eat dark chocolate and will indulge in cheesecake if I want a real treat. I can make egg custard for puddings but I am not really a desert person. I make milk shakes with almond milk, frozen fruit and a banana and thats awesome. I want to cut back on dairy anyway, so I have milk just for coffee now. I can not eat nuts, diverticulitis darn it all. I eat eggs for breakfast or oatmeal with honey. If I indulge in bread I eat Pita pockets or that skinny bread that I love and that and it's whole grain. I have discovered a few vegan recipes and I use cheese for the added fat and that is one thing I love so its also snack material. Filling too. I also make a tea from Apple Cider vinegar and honey with cinnamon. That has staved off colds for 2 years or so now.

So here I am now 72 years old and it is a struggle to be fit, just as it has always been. It can not be called a diet, it is a lifestyle. I am looking forwards to Spring, I really really really need the exercise and maybe that will help me lose some weight again. My goal is 160 for now and boy is it slow going. It seems that when I lose weight and then put it back on again, my body goes into rebellion, it says enough! I am holding on to this. Then I can't lose the weight in the same way as the last time. I have to find a new way to fool my body. At this stage of my life it's my internal health that I worry about rather than looks. Can't really help that anymore I am an old lady, I must accept that.....................well NO I WON'T I will go down fighting darn it.

Going Grey.......

My hair is grey now Actually I do on occasion colour it blondish white. My natural hair colour is black with a reddish tint. It seems though that most of my life I have coloured it red. I love red hair. Mum and me with our natural colour hair
Looking back it was a nice colour but I always wanted red. As time went on I experimented with colour and was happy to try brilliant reds to orange reds and all in between. It went with my skin tone and my eyes. I just had fun with it. I think I must only have gone back to my natural colour a couple of times.
My Mothers hair was black. Real black, when she started to go grey she did colour it. Hair dye was a lot different back then. She was working at Edwards, a grocery store in the village when she first coloured her hair. My Dad and I have a rather bad sense of humour and so when she was done colouring her hair and she came into the living room, her arms black up past the wrists. We tried so very hard not to laugh. She was most upset. Said "How can I work with food with my hands like this" She was almost crying and sorry to say when she went back to the kitchen to scrub and scrub at her black hands, Dad and I were laughing so hard (quietly) that we bout died. He tried very hard to keep a straight face and be supportive but only had to glance in my direction to start again with fits of giggles. She did manage to get it to a lovely purple shade and wore rubber gloves to work next day. I do not have a picture of that.

Then I remember one summer my friend Margaret and I went off on holiday with my parents. Margaret came with us on most holidays. She was my constant friend. Anway, we were both into doing our hair and wanted to lighten it up a bit. We bought a spray that is supposed to lighten the hair in the sun. We sprayed and sprayed and no difference. Sprayed again a few more times and as we were going to Norfolk to stay in a cabin on the Broads well we sprayed again. On the way there we noticed a change. It kept changing. Went through several stages of red and kept changing. By the time the sun and everything got to it, well it was pretty yellow by then. Not sure I have pictures of that but this is it during the red stage. This is my Mum, Margaret and me in Norfolk.

The stuff really damaged my hair. I am not sure it was ever the same after that. In time it grew out and I left well enough alone for a time. Eventually though I got the bug again and went red.
My Dad had dark hair and most of my family did too except for my Uncle Ray who was a ginger.
when I was working it was an incentive to keep it up and I did, and I enjoyed it.
Me and Jason in North Carolina

Me home from work, still really red

As I got older I did tone it down a bit

I had it stripped once to see how it would look but I never did like it grey. It was so drab and so I continued to colour it red. Maybe a bit lighter than before because it started to get thin as well.

The summer Jason and I went to England I stripped it down and did it blond, it came out yellow and I was not too thrilled with that.

When I got back I used the lightest I could get. My own hair was by then almost white on front but that horrible dark grey at back. So I streaked it and cut off as much as I could and loved it. It was dark at the roots and white all over. That didn't last and I have not got that look again. I grew it long

I kept it that way for a time and now I just colour it now and then to brighten it up, but I stick to the whitest I can get and still do not mind the dark roots at the back because it looks good when its up.

Are we ever happy with what God gave us? Well maybe not but I do know I wish it was not getting so thin, I can live with the grey. If I must.

Beach in February..................

I did it, I got them out of the house. I really wanted to get out, it had been so sunny for a couple of days. I needed daylight and sunshine. It happened to be Gerry's birthday so I tempted him with promise of supper at the Hayloft after. They have great Burrito's and Margarita's. So we headed out to Suttons Bay looking for good pictures. We passed the docks on Grand Traverse Bay where the boats were resting for Winter and the promise of Spring.

With as cold as it has been this Winter I can not believe the Bay has not frozen over. The Lakes are pretty much frozen but not the Bay. This day was 17F and sunny so was balmy. This the the river at The Narrows going through Lake Leelanau

We didn't stop in Suttons Bay, I looked for wild fowl but nothing hanging around so off we went to Leland. We were hunting for coffee but Trish's dishes was just closing, it was 3pm. We headed for Fishtown instead and took some pictures there. I think of my friend Susan each time we go there. It was lovely with no people around. The Dam was icy and partly frozen. Beautiful in the sun.

The dang camera was wrong way around, so here is me. I could not see into the lense and took this before I could see what I was pointed at. I never wear a hat or scarf or gloves usually, I also had on my one and only pair of socks. I am wearing a hat I made for Tristen long ago. It was all I could find and we were going down to the beach later.





In Summer months this place is jam packed with tourists. I love this time of year, it is more beautiful and we have it to ourselves. I love that. Yes the nice hustle and bustle of people in the little gift shops is fun and the smoked fish and specialty cheese is awesome. The prices are high. Carlson Fisheries are the main supplier of local fish and smoke fish here on site.


The wind was biting cold on my face and next we were heading for the beach across the Harbor wall. We went to my usual place where we collect Blue Stones. It was so pretty with the sun shining bright on the snow. Snow fences are up and summer homes are empty so once again, we have it all to ourselves. Gabby has never been to the beach in Winter. There is so much more to exploring the beaches than to just go in summer days. The ice had made some of the sand freeze into slabs that broke and stood at an angle.

There were many shapes, frozen snow balls and stalagmites rising from the floor of the beach. The piles of snow drifted into swirls like ice cream cones.



I was hoping to get some pictures of the snowballs that have been seen the last couple of years. The water and waves whip the snow into round balls bobbing in the water. The only ones left were frozen on the beach. I could not believe it, Gerry actually got out or the car and came with us. Hard to get him on the beach in summer let alone in February.
Here is Gabby

.....and Gerry dressed for the Arctic. I admit, I knew enough to find a pair of socks to go in my boots. the only pair I own.

We left the beach to head for Empire via Glen Arbor. I had hoped to see some deer in town and was not disappointed.

Heading into Glen Arbor I took a few shots of local curiosities. The old Red School House looks lovely in Winter and the old barn that was decorated for the anniversary of 1776 BiCentennial, the year my parents were here 1996.


We had taken a detour down to the beach right there by the barn...........and look at what we found. The ice pancakes.

After going through Glen Arbor and scouting out the Port Oneida road, and seeing no wildlife we headed past the Dunes.

Again, no one there and Cooper declined our offer of allowing him to climb them. Not today.............sigh, where is the sense of adventure?
Another deer crossed the road as we were waiting for her so that I could get a picture. She obliged in no hurry.

Off into Empire and the beach there was empty, the light was so pretty and I had forgotten that it would soon be sundown


Leaving the beach we met this lovely lady



Not at all worried about us talking to her and posing for some pictures. This was in the village of Empire so obviously used to people and probably well fed.

About that time we were getting hungry so headed home. We stopped at the Hayloft and ate very good Burrito's Gabby and I saved half ours for today, a nice lunch. Gerry ate all his.





By the time we were done it was getting dark, and starting to snow, home for coffee and warm up the toes.