How does one overcome? Well I keep telling myself I have good reason to procrastinate. Tristen keeps me busy. He is soon to be 2 years old. He is so lively and so full of mischief its hard for me to concentrate on anything. I don't really read much anymore although I still buy the books. At least Tristen has a love of books. I still can't believe his mother is gone, maybe that's a part of the problem. Maybe getting over her loss has taken an insidious toll on me, different from what I expected? I just have no oomph!! Oh, I still want to do things, still get excited at the prospect of doing things, especially as I look at all the wonderful creative blogs out there. Then when the time comes I just cant do it. This weekend Tristen went to stay at his Auntie Laura's, she insists that he spend at least a part of every other weekend with her family. It gives me a break and he gets to enjoy a great weekend of activity. So why then am I sitting here. I should be outside. Its perfect weather for gardening but its so overwhelming now, its time to put the garden to bed and prepare for Spring but I just can't tackle it. The job is too big now for one weekend. So should I just let myself off the hook and wait till Spring when it will be more exciting and I will want to get going again?
Then I told myself I would get the sewing machine out. I committed to making some potholders in one of my EONS groups. I really do want to do that. I just cant get motivated. I also want to paint some pictures. I look at some of the blogs on watercolour and really get excited over doing that and then I think of those 10 little fingers and nose into all my stuff and laugh and give up on that idea. Maybe I should try coloured pencils instead? That's an idea.
I WILL start the potholders. Tomorrow.
I have been taking a lot of photos though. That's something at least.
This is one taken last night of Tristen, he is done with his spaggetti.
This is his prize for eating all his spaggetti..............."ice keem"
When all is said and done, he is all that really matters. I have a different life now, that does not mean I wont ever do this stuff again but for now I must be content maybe. Stop feeling inadequate and lazy. I spend so much time sitting when he is playing around here. I have to watch him constantly. With my own kids I had a play room and there were 3 of them. They entertained each other. This is different, he is an only child. I do watch a little girl who is 18 months 4 days a week so he does have a little competition. I don't want to spoil him terribly but ...........well he is only 2. Maybe when we do his room I will get enthused enough to decorate and make things for his room, maybe that will jump start my engines again.
