Life is Good..........................

Life will always throw us curve balls. Things will never go as we plan. That is one thing that may make life interesting, even exciting. It is not mapped out for us.
Well, maybe in some ways it is, God says He has known us from the womb, from the beginning of time. He knows who will become His. Not because it is preordained but just because He knows. He knows us that well, He knows what our choices will be when faced with them.
So how do we use this information? I know that whatever happens in my life, God is with me. He does have a plan for me and it is up to me to find it. When in doubt, sit back and wait. Pray. Always pray.
Meanwhile, the road is up and down. First we have childhood and I have to say mine was wonderful. Mainly because I loved the place I lived, there was no desire to escape. I spent a lot of time out in the woods and fields and my friend Margarets farm.

I was shy, I lacked confidence and I now believe I was very self centered. I was an only child. I look back on my life and wonder how I could have missed some things. Said certain things and done some things. Maybe that is because I was an only child. My parents both worked and I spent a lot of time alone.

In school I did not do really well because of my reluctance to step up or stand out. For example I could run fast, but having to run in a race, well I did not want to be the center of attention and so I would really try, know I could win but back off and lose. I am not at all competitive. However it did not stop me learning the things I was interested in. It gave me a curiosity and maybe that is even better. I love history. I always loved to read and was good at that but could never spell, so I must not have done well in English language haha. I failed miserably at math. Most of that was because I dare not ask questions. Now, as an adult if I had reason to do and I do not, I think I would love math. I love puzzles and codes. I love computers and have always worked around them.

I do not believe in regrets. Would I do anything differently if I could do things over? No not at all. There are a lot of things I have said that I would take back but my life is what it is.
I have no idea how much time is left but I do know that there would not be enough time in another lifetime to do all the things I would like to do.
I like photography and art. It would have been nice to have a career in art somehow. Truth is, I have too many things I am interested in to do that.
One dream I had a long time ago, was to have a small resort and have a shop to sell the things I make. Quilts, paintings, cards...........oh way too many things to mention. I enjoy every day. I have so much to do. So much to finish.
I have been fortunate in my life to always have good friends, and they have always been a big part of me. I treasure friends always.

I have always loved my pets, my poodles. I suppose I have loved them more than most people in my life. Anyone who loves an animal can understand that.

I love my family but have never really felt "loved". Maybe because like me none of them are demonstrative and I lack confidence and self worth. We do not talk of such things. Goes back to my insecurities. Maybe that too is the fate of the only child. Not sure about that though because so many only children are self confident and secure. I am not.
For that reason I did not date a lot, usually when I did I was let down. My first real boyfriend was when we were 16. When we broke up it hardened me. I don't think I loved anyone again like I did him. I soon got tired of them, six months was about my limit. When I met Graham, who is Laura's father and I found out he was married, that did it. I felt I was done. I still dated but did not really have any feelings for any of them. I came into myself when we began to go to "the club" at Chicksands. I had such a great time there. Prior to that, in the 60s it was the Cali (California ballroom) and all the rock stars who performed there.

I enjoyed those days so much. When I moved to London I didn't go so much. Margaret and Sheila were married by then and I had a new circle of friends who went to the club with me.

I had several boyfriends there but none that settled me down. I did not want to get married. Then the day came and I was fed up with starting over, of getting to know someone new. So I did settle down and got married.

We had not intended to live in the States. Gerry was to go home, get out of the service and go back to England. We had 2 children by then and I had Laura, so three in all. Well the Air Force decided they would pay our way to the States and so we made the decision to go, meet his family and maybe stay a couple of years before returning. My parents kept saying we were better off here, discouraged us from going back. We put it off, made several attempts to get organized and move but the day came the kids were too old to start over in a new country. Also I had a horse and pets So here we still are.

I believe God has a reason for all that. I sure hope so. I miss England and my family there more than I can say. Can we retire there? well, that would mean leaving my family here, my kids, grandkids and great grandkids. So I doubt that will happen. I will never be an American citizen so maybe Mr Trump will send me back some day haha. Would I miss this country? No because there would be so much new to do. I would miss my friends but have more there than here. I would miss my family here but they could visit. So what's to stop us you say. Running out of time I think is the big thing.
I miss home more at the moment as my cousin Robin just died. It means I will not see most of my family again. We don't have the money for vacations. Plus I hate to fly.
Still what does lie ahead? I have no idea but every day is an adventure and I always look forwards to tomorrow. Right now I can not wait for Spring. Again, so much to do. So much to plan and fanangle. Gerry plans on retiring some time this year and then what? Money will be tight that's for sure. Ah well, that just makes things more interesting. I will have a huge yard sale and see what I can get rid of, time to empty out the nooks and crannies in this house and make some money.
We have to decide if we will stay in this house or move. Build a new one. Buy one..........who knows. Life is an adventure, always was and always will be. I go with the flow. I am happy where ever the road leads. I know God rules and I will follow where He leads.