A matter of life or death..................

I think I mentioned that Bijou had a brush with death recently. Last week actually. She was very sick and we could not figure out why. We knew she had a kidney stone, and also the stone in her bladder again because we had xrays done. That didn't explain this pain and decline though. The vet put her on a large dose of antibiotics and pain killers. She managed to get through it slowly, it was a mystery, the vet could not figure it out. Well a week passed and she was eating regular and so I decided it was best to take care of the bladder stone because she was having problems again peeing. So it was that we took her in again. I got a call later that morning, the vet told me she had found a mass of gelatinous substance attached to her stomach wall, it went around her internal organs and bled when touched. It was not possible to remove it.SHe had no idea what it was, was afraid to biopsy and make it ooze more. What to do? close her up and see what happens or put her to sleep?.

My husband had just gone to work thinking everything was OK. So I called and had him come back. He was very very upset. I told the vet to close her up and we would come up and see her to talk. She wanted to wait until Bijou came out of the anesthetic so we went up later. The vet by now was very surprised that Bijou was awake and alert. We talked and we decided we would take Bijou home and at least let her know we were there and she was loved and just cherish a few days with her before taking her back to put her to sleep. Well, when we went back to where she was in her cage, she sat up and wanted out. The vet decided then and there to let her go home and then for us to bring her back next day to give her more fluids. She thought that she would do better at home than to stay overnight which was what she had wanted to happen at first.

We took her home, we found the old crate we used when they were babies. They could sleep on the end of the bed in it without getting squished. So we made that up for Bijou and she was able to sleep in her usual spot even if somewhat confined.
Next day (today) we took her back first thing to have her get more fluids and pain meds. We picked her up at noon. Again the vet could not believe how well she was doing. She has slept a lot today but is eating well. The vet says she has never experienced anything like this in her 30 years as a vet. She calls her, her miricle dog. We don't know what her future prognosis is, but she is home for now.

So this is the thing............we were close to saying "let her go" while she was still asleep. The vet would have done it thinking it for the best. I said no, because I wanted Bijou to know we were with her. If it came to that I wanted to be holding her. Then when she woke up (and the vet was not sure she would) and was alert and her pain was controlled.......well. I decided that we should bring her home for whatever life she had left.

That is the dilemma isn't it? Taking a life. I have done so in the past, for what I considered good reasons, or the best for the animal at the time. I never take it lightly. I always regret it. I always feel the pain of second guessing my motives and my reasons. I can not stand the idea of a beloved pet in pain, especially if nothing will get better. God gave us dominion over the animals. I take that to mean that I am to do what is best for them. If it means ending their life it must be with great soul searching and consideration, not for selfish reasons or convenience. I may have done that once when it involved a cat, maybe two cats. They had issues we could not resolve. Both would poop and pee all over the house, on the beds and furniture. The vet thought in the first case (Buffy) that she was sick, she could not figure it out and thought it best to put her to sleep. Long story with Buffy because of her family history, her sister born with her organs on the wrong side and her mother had the same issues that Buffy did. The second cat Beatrice was so stressed by even being at the vets that the vet pursuded me it would be the best, that she was sick and would not respond well to treatment. She suggested to try to retrain her would be to confine her to a bathroom. Well that would be cruel and so we made our choice. I regret both of those choices, even so, I don't know what else I could have done.
With the poodles, Bonnie was in the throws of a heart attack and was about gone by the time we got to the vet so it was a case of seeing her off gently and pain free as best we could. Bambi much the same but Buttons, sweet Buttons, Dr Burke came to our house. We said goodbye and took the easy way out, could I have waited longer? I don't know. Poor Buttons, such a sweet sweet girl and so many ailments all her life. I didn't want her to suffer but she did not like to see the vet there, was she ready? Ah, well that's it isn't it? Do we really have the right to deny even one day? If dogs go to heaven, then it doesn't matter. We will see them again. What if they don't? Then we have taken from them what little life they have.
Do animals have souls, do they have another life when they cross the Rainbow bridge. Part of me says no. Who does go to heaven? Did the dinasaurs? Do cows? animals that have terrible lives here deserve another chance at life don't they? Is it just our pets, that can't be. It can't just be dogs and cats because in some countries they are food. What I do know is every animal has a personality. Even birds have character so, if God knows when even a sparrow falls from the sky, does God love them? They certainly deserve love more than we do in my opinion.
So Bijou............you may have a long life ahead, but it might be short going by what's going on inside you. I do not want to have to make the choice over your life or death, not again..........but I will when I need to. It's what comes with loving them and doing what is best for them with complete knowlege and consideration of all the facts. It has cost over 1,000 dollars so far..........we cant afford it (and this is the 2nd time) but it is what we do isn't it?. Life does not have a price does it? It shouldn't but I fear it does sometimes. Still, for now, we have Bijou home and happy and we will relish every single day and thank God for it.

May Day...............

It's May, It's May the merry month of May...........I love May Day. In some countries its a day to have a military parade and show of their might. In England not so much.

I love the May blossoms, the bluebells, the cowslips and nature coming alive. Birds are nesting and it's such a happy month.

The English May celebrations include Morris men.

The May Pole dancers on the village green.

I love that traditions are kept up in Britain. That people still take the time to be involved. That men and women still take time to learn the complicated dances of the Morris dancers. They may I am sure seem silly to some but they have their history. The old village green, where now the village people still gather for events, fairs and gymkahnas. It's beautiful and I hope it last forever.

Tristen's Swimming lesson.......

On Wednesday Dan was away on his honeymoon so we took Tristen to his swimming lesson. Now that was quite the experience. He wants so much to be older than he is. He had to show us how to get to the YMCA and he was insistent even though we knew where it was. He showed us where we had to park and showed us what to do and where to go. Full of himself he was. He always is haha. He is just like his mum.
Anyway, he knew to take a shower and get changed in the locker room and took us to the pool to meet the instructor.
He is not different there than at school or anywhere else. He does not listen. Still he enjoyed his lesson.





So that was an adventure. He kept popping out of the pool and coming over to where we sat, all wet and dripping. We think we will sign him up for soccer this summer.
So then one evening Gabby stopped in with Cooper. Tristen was just getting into the tub, so Gabby put Cooper in with him.



Cousins having fun. Oh boy!!!.........these two will be quite the pair when they get older. Cooper had a blast.




I am linking with The Dedicated House, Make it pretty Monday
also with Inspire me Monday

Follow ups...................

When it rains it pours? Well it sometimes seems that way doesn't it? I am not sure where to begin, I have not had much chance to write on here, or indeed, not known what to say.
First of all Bijou. Well, she has made a recovery of sorts and now needs to go back to the vets for a follow up. I suspect the stones in her bladder are bad. She pees all the time and not much comes out. That means the bladder stones are getting bigger. She has recovered from whatever it was that almost killed her. Still no idea what happened to her. She is her usual annoying self now. So we will get her back to the vets and get another Xray done to see how bad her bladder is.
She managed to get her hair cut and is looking pretty again.

Bodi got her hair cut at the same time and she is pretty too.

I take the poodles in two by two. The other two got theirs this week. I stopped in at the thrift shop at that time but that is for another post.
So........Gabrielle is doing better. She had a mental breakdown. She is working on it. It makes me wonder what mental illness is. What triggers it? How is it to be avoided? Is it in our genetic make up? I know it is hard to talk about and very hard to understand. Some of it I think is our personality that make us susceptible and then a chemical imbalance maybe. Especially in women. Anyway, Gabby took Alexandra's death very hard. She has never been comfortable talking about it. She is a depressed personality or rather I should say melancholy, ADHD and more comfortable away from people. So it was around the anniversary of Alex death that she went to pieces after a confrontation at work. She is still very fragile but is doing better.

Reina, well she is doing well. They have put off her surgery in the hope that it can wait until she is a little older. She is very young to have gall stones,but she does.

So now for the latest news. My daughter Laura ....phew. So she has been having marriage problems and this led to what can only be described as a breakdown too. She took an overdose of tylanol. Now, as soon as she did it she realized it was probably not in her best interests and tried to throw them back up. Nope.......so off to the ER they went. I am so sick of that place. Well she had to spend a week there on the psyche ward.
Back to that mental health issue. Oh, I am sure she had no intent upon killing herself it was a bid for attention.
Laura has a volatile personality to begin with, then when she is PMS'ing it becomes really bad. She has no self control. So maybe this little stay, and council will help work some of that out for her. So could be a blessing in disguise.
So how do we come to this?
My Mother I realize was a controlling woman when it came to my dad, jealous too. Laura is much the same in personality as my Mum. She recognises that and try's to work on it. I remember mum had a nervous breakdown when my dad had an affair. I remember some problems in their marriage but they pretty much kept it away from me. I just remember a few things that made sense later in life when I was more aware of adult things.
As a child I didn't notice a lot, I was naive and back then kids didn't know much about such things. They only made sense later. Her family too was very volatile, at least some of them were. So as I grew up I think maybe I too had some of those traits. Especially while raising kids. Patience was not one of my virtues and certainly not one of Laura's.
I now know PMS was a great part of it for me. For Laura far worse than that PMS times 5. I wont go into all that as its not my story to tell but I wonder about mental health and how little help there is for anyone until it's too late.
The main problem for her has been lack of health insurance. She needs meds for the PMS and depression and when you don't have the insurance you stop taking them. That should not happen.
Anyway..............just a few reasons why I have not been very active on my blogs. Everything will be OK in the end.
linking with Inspire Me Monday

Hectic weeks..................

Its been a rather hectic few weeks one way or other. I began baby sitting for a few months. The babies grandmother was about to retire and would be looking after the little fella after that. He is a cute little,( and I mean little) 3 month old. His mother was terrified of leaving him to go back to work, so this arrangement worked well for her. My problem was getting up at 5am. The first month it was actually quite nice. I have a good hour to myself as the sun came up.
Well I finished with that job on Friday and I suppose that over the period of time I watched him I had saved a little nest egg. I was hoping to buy something with it. We need a new BBQ, a new vacuum and this and that. It was not to be. More later.
So then Gabby got sick...........she was in the ER a couple of times and we were trying to help with that situation as well. She is doing better now.
Then Reina got sick. She has Spherocytosis (an inherited blood disease)and the pain from her gall bladder was bad poor thing. She ended up going to ER and then down to a childrens hospital. They are restricting her diet and holding off on surgery until she is older.
Meanwhile Tristen and Reina did a fashion show. They did what they did last year. Laura works at Yonkers and they do a childrens fashion show now every year.

Reina being serious about her job
The next thing to happen was Bijou got sick.

Here we are leaving the vets after 3 days treatment. She was not at all happy and still very weak.

She was out of sorts and lethargic when we decided to take her in on Monday. She was not eating and was dehydrated and had a fever. The vet decided to keep her overnight, ran blood work and urine tests. She has bladder stones again. She only had that large one out a few months ago. She now has a kidney stone as well. They put her on intravenus liquids and antibiotics. They could not explain the pain, the vets seemed to not know what to do or why she was not responding. They kept her another night and did more blood tests. Everything came back ok. They were confused. She was in for 3 days and we brought her home Friday. Took her back for more infusions on Saturday and then home again. She is gradually getting a bit better this week. She is eating a bit more. She seems to be in less pain. Each day seems to be an improvement. We are not sure yet though. Lots of prayers for her and I really prayed God would give her a chance to spend some time at home with us............I believe He answered prayers. We really thought we would loose her.

Well as Bijou seem to be on the mend, I am hoping now that things will become less frantic for the next few weeks. I really do need to catch up on things. I am loving being out in the garden working again. I have had no time for my blogs.

Fashion Models................

Today was Younker's children's fashion show. Laura works there, so she gets a good discount on the clothes. Laura bought Tristen his outfit. Reina chose a pretty dress and Tisten wore jeans and a tee shirt and short sleeved shirt. They both looked very nice I thought.
So off we went and they called to line up. The organizer got the kids in order so they could tell everyone a bit about each child as they walked the runway.
I have to say it was like herding cats.

Reina chose her dress. She loves the attention and puts her all into it.

Auntie Laura is the blond with the camera.

The clown lady kept them in line and focused, sort of.

Next it was Tristen's turn..........his favourite thing in school he says is math, he wants to be a cop when he grows up and the thing he enjoys the most is chasing girls at school. Yes......well.......
He is 5 OK.

A proud auntie Laura takes pictures

After the show, all the models went back out and paraded again. There were some cute outfits on some of the kids. Only two boys in the show and one was older. So I am sure Tristen will be back next year.
After they were officially done he escaped to get his face painted. He wanted to be an army guy

Younkers  had some rabbits brought in to pet and some ducklings. Some one set up a table for balloons that they made into animals and things. The clown lady had Tattoos and candy for them. So the kids had a good time. After that Auntie Laura took Reina to the theater to see Shrek on stage, and after the show they got to get pictures taken with the cast. Reina had a lot of fun. Auntie Laura loves kids and takes them lots of fun places. Tristen didn't get to go on that trip. Instead we went to get him some new shoes. I can not believe he is a size up from the last time. Size one.  Then after that we went to lunch.

Tristen ordered chicken tenders and fry's but didn't eat them, he did manage to eat his desert though while Laura and I finished our coffee
We stopped by to see how Alex was doing, her place is a mess. So we have to go back and sort her out. I want to take some daffodils to put on the grave but its way too cold at the moment, they would freeze. So I think we will go back and take some mulch, tidy up and take a new wreath to make it Spring like. A lot of stuff broke over the winter so she needs a complete overhaul. Tristen was freezing he said so we didn't stay. There are plants beginning to pop through, so Spring wont be too long.

First Day of Spring...........

Today is the first day of Spring. Our wedding anniversary. No, we don't celebrate it anymore. We are not the celebrating sort haha. He did get me a pot of Daffodils and some chocolates though. Tristen and me got him cards and candy yesterday. I bought my card and Tristen wanted to buy one too so......we did. I think its 45 years. Wow...........


Anyway, Edna and I decided to get out for a bit. We planned on some thrift shops but ended up taking a ride to Elk Rapids. It was a lovely sunny day, windy and bitter cold.

It was a pleasant drive. This land either side of this road, in summer has sunflowers growing. It makes for a spectacular view. The red barn survived another year. The land on the left is now preserved and has trails now open to the public. One place we will explore this coming year.
This is another nice barn and the view above it is Lake Michigan.

The next ones are when we got to Elk Rapids. The lake is still somewhat frozen but is thawing in places now.


I love this pile of stones

I cant say the town was deserted, it wasn't but its not the bustling hub it is in the summer months.

We went to a couple of antique shops, didn't find much that I wanted. The prices are so high. I did get some ideas for the garden though. On the way back we stopped at a cheese place. Manny's specialty cheese.
I was looking for goat cheese and Edna had expressed to desire to find a cheese shop. I knew of Manny's so we went in. He lets you taste the cheese so you know what you are buying. I did get some goat cheese called "Drunken goat" and three different English cheeses. So good. We had that for supper with bread and ham with pickles. Next stop was a bakers and we got fresh bread.
We didn't do so well in the Thrift stores but it was a nice day out and back in time to do some housework. A good day in the sunshine.
Sharing with A Dedicated House, anything Blue Friday

Spring......................

Spring, a renewal.This year I have looked forwards to it more than most years. Or maybe like childbirth itself, you forget from one time to the next. Spring........everything born new again. I miss the Springtime in England. I miss the Spring flowers. I miss the lambs, the blue blue sky after such dreary days. I was reminded the other day of Harebells.

I remember laying on the hills near by grandmothers house. A sunny day, clouds whispering by, drone of bees as they flit from flower to flower. Harebells. Delicate little things. I don't remember why I was laying there, but I remember it vividly. I used to walk those hills near her house often, in fact I would walk across the top of the hill to my aunts house. To get there I would need to walk through a small wood and along a field of cows. I wandered often and alone in those days. I suppose I would have been about 12 maybe. I don't really know. Time and age is meaningless when you are young. Maybe that was the day my friend Dawn was with me. I don't remember that much. I just remember the harebells in the breeze. A warm sunny day.
The little wood would have bluebells in the Spring and I loved that too

I suppose most English children gathered arm loads of bluebells for their mums.

When you drive down English country lanes in the Springtime, the trees are a bright bright green. I would say lime but its not, it's a unique green of new things. With the blue sky and green coming to the tree tops the floor of the woodlands would reflect that blue sky back. In the surrounding fields new life there too in the form of babies, lambs...........what a beautiful sight that is. Innocent life. They are so full of joy at that age. Shame what is to come for them poor babies.

So we come back to Springtime in Michigan. Not quite the same but still I love the renewal of it all. The birds are too busy now to come to my feeders. The rabbits are not cleaning up but boy have they left some poop. I hope that will help my garden haha. I saw a Possum running across the street today. I never knew they could run so fast. Waiting to see a skunk or a Robin to assure me that Spring really is here. Awakenings......returns......snowdrops fittingly are the first to bloom in my garden.

I have been looking for them but so far no show but I know it wont be long. I also know that we often get some bad storms in March. The thing is that the weather can go from snow to 80 degrees within a week or two, it does not give us a chance to get used to it. This next picture is not an exaggeration.


Yes, this is Michigan..........so unlike my England.

I love SPRING.........I am ready to welcome it.

commonwealth Day..........

Being born in 1946 I missed all the bad stuff. To me the "Empire" was gone but the "Commonwealth" was still with us. I am proud of what it is today, but not of it's past. My Queen is the Monarch of a lot of the countries but not all. Many countries enjoy the connection with Great Britain, now a days its more of a friendly relationship. Different to what it once was.

The day that "the sun never set on the British Empire" is long gone. Those days we owned all "the Pink bits" on the world maps. After WW2 the Empire was pretty much ended but many countries still wanted the connection for whatever reasons.
The British viewed so many of the countries peoples as uneducated children, in their arrogance they thought they were better off being ruled by the Crown. That may well have been true in many cases but........it boils down to the arrogant feeling that our way is better. That may not be true for many. I think that the USA still has that lesson to learn. Britain now seems to get along with its Commonwealth peoples and many love our Queen.

Canada, Australia and New Zealand still remain members and the people are most like us. Many being descended from the English. In the case of Australia it was a prison colony for a long time. In the 1950s English families were encouraged to emigrate to Australia to take children and settle there. My cousins live there now because their family went.
The downside of the whole thing is the atrocities that took place in most of the countries of the Empire. Much like the annihilation or genocide of native peoples in the USA and it took place way too often in places like Africa. In the Boar War for example there were horrific prison camps where many starved and died. Germany was not the first country to do that. There were massacres in India when people protested. Now in most cases I must hasten to add it was not so much British policy as individuals who took it upon themselves. Or the infamous East India Company.

Winston Churchill may well have been one of our greatest statesmen, there is much about him I admire........but there is much that I do not. He could be callous. He, I believe is responsible for what happened to our men, my Dad among them at Singapore. This is not a history lesson. Really its just about my feelings. I think he made decisions many could not and that is a soldiers woe. He was responsible for many atrocities.

He aged into a terrific statesman and orator and is mainly remembered for that. There is much I admire about him, his arrogant younger days that probably led to what he became. He was very aware of his heritage as a warrior and his legacy as a Churchill.

Much of the bad things that happened comes down to greed. The East India company rather than the British military were responsible for so many tragic decisions. Slavery and murder of blacks in Africa of dehumanizing whole peoples. I am proud to say that we ended that and that outlook way long ago 1833, but the mind set had began back in 1783 when the British public wanted an end to slavery.

What the Empire did for the modern people in Britain was to make them less aware of colour. There is not the same kind of prejudice as there is in the States. Oh it's there but on a different level. Right now its immigration and people who want to change the British way of life. There is a reason, right or wrong for it. Unlike in the US where it is pure hatred based solely on colour.
I worked with a man from China and one from Malaya. I lived after I was married in a street where I was probably the only "English" person. I had no problem with that........I grew up believing we were the "mother" country of many dependents and territories who wanted to be a part of our Commonwealth. Today I believe they still do. Like Scotland where the country was/is divided but chose to remain British........so too, many others have done the same. Some have left the fold but most remained. The ones who left have not flourished but, their freedom was more important to them. So.........I am proud of our Commonwealth I feel connected through that and through our Royal Family (Victoria's offspring) to many countries in the world. That is one thing sadly lacking in America and one more reason I will never be a citizen of any country but my own.