End of summer.............

Well all the kids are back to school. Got almost the first week under their belts. Mothers are full of joy and life is great. For now. I remember summer holidays in England seemed endless but in fact were only 6 weeks long. Here its like 3 months long. No wonder the kids dont learn much, and have so much homework. I really wish our American schools did a better job. The kids stay at school longer in years, less weeks in the year and do not learn a fraction of what was taught in English schools. There is little discipline and they have their phones in class, teachers included so whats it all about?

I hope we get through this year without violence. It seems every year there are more shootings. What is wrong with a society that tolerates violence in schools. We pay more attention to what is called bullying than much else. While I agree it should not be allowed when people notice it, I can not believe its as important as what makes kids go out and shoot others. Is it connected? There have always been bullies. Usually they are cowards, they strike with friends who laugh or egg them on. If confronted they usually run. Its different these days. Kids are different. When I was in school I remember one boy loved to lie in wait for me on my way home. He would throw stones at my legs and try to hurt me in that way. I was always afraid and one day my Dad knew I had been crying. He asked me why and I told him. Well he said next time don't run, confront him. I did, I do believe I slapped him silly, in any case he never bothered me again and was always nice to me. We were told it built character to weather those storms. It did, it made me stronger. So today, what's different? There is a big need for councilors at school, we never had those. We got through everything best we could, it made us strong. We never heard of kids who committed suicide. ever. So what's wrong with us today?. Why the violence, the lack of coping skills? The lack of empathy, kindness? Is it TV and video games, is it really the constant use of the phones always stuck in an ear? We didn't grow up with any of that. We played games to gether.

We played games like "Mother May I" tag, we played school, marbles, board games, shops,we played together and made life long friends. School was not fun for me, I was a very shy and withdrawn child. An only child. I was scared by a lot of school activity because I was terrified and afraid the teacher would single me out. I could not talk in front of the class or do anything like that. Still cant for that matter. I would not have contemplated suicide or killing someone else though. I just do not know where that comes from. Society is evil in many ways. We can not protect children from life. Like a butterfly coming out of the cocoon we need to struggle sometimes to be strong and true. Just my opinion. Still...........we can not allow the bully to prevail. We as parents need to be sure our child is NOT one by showing them the great capacity to love one another even if we may not like one another.

What about Home schooling. I wish in some ways I could do that for Tristen. He needs other kids though and I do not think I have the skills to home school him. I have thought about keeping him in public school until Jr high and then trying a private school if we could afford that. I want to keep him safe, but I want him to learn and grow and have friends of all kinds. I cant do that for him at home. What is the answer? If it were up to me there would be no guns in the hands of homeowners, they would be for sport via clubs but that will never happen in this country and so we live with the eternal fear of violence in our schools until someone has had enough and demands that guns be forbidden in the home.

All I can do is love him and pray for him every day, and hope against hope nothing bad ever happens.

First Day of School....

I vividly remember the first day of school. It did not go well for me. I remember little bits here and there, and my memories are of things at child level. I see as in a movie, little me holding my mums hand. We went into an office with glass windows looking out onto the corridor. I had to go pee very bad and whispered to my mum. A lady said she would take me, she did. Coming back along the corridor that was painted two colours, that old apple green on the bottom a white stripe to separate it from the top colour that I don't recall. I could see mum in the office but that was not where teacher was taking me.........I said "I want to see my mum". The lady would not let me. All I wanted to do was say bye bye. I had a hissy fit of that I am sure. I was taken to the class room but don't remember that part. I do remember the smell of poster paint and Plasticine. I next remember lunch. Something makes me think I had started school later than anyone else. Maybe because we had moved to my Nan's house at that time. Anyway a teacher took me to the lunch room thank goodness because it was all very intimidating. I sat on the end of a long bench. She brought me lunch, it was this (stew) mess that looked horrible, made with hamburger meat. It was thick and it made me want to gag. I refused to eat it. She sat next to me and put a spoonful in my mouth and it was really good. I ate the whole thing. I don't remember anything else.
I just remember the helpless feeling of not being understood, of betrayal and fright.





So this week my youngest granddaughter started Kindergarden she is 5 almost 6 so much older than I was. I remembered all of that, of my very first day. Its so different now, these kids ride on buses and carry backpacks and bring homework home they also get chance to go to preschool. Basically though in many ways they have to have those same fears. Large adults bossing them around and mum nowhere to be seen. Maybe the ones who have a less "retiring" personality do better and see it all as a big adventure but us shrinking violets have a very hard time of it. Just remember these small people cant voice their feelings. All I could say was "I want my mum" but what I meant was "I am OK with this, but I want to say goodbye" so listen to them and help them make a good start because it does effect the rest of their school days to some extent. I lost my trust of adults that day for a very long time.