First Day of School....

I vividly remember the first day of school. It did not go well for me. I remember little bits here and there, and my memories are of things at child level. I see as in a movie, little me holding my mums hand. We went into an office with glass windows looking out onto the corridor. I had to go pee very bad and whispered to my mum. A lady said she would take me, she did. Coming back along the corridor that was painted two colours, that old apple green on the bottom a white stripe to separate it from the top colour that I don't recall. I could see mum in the office but that was not where teacher was taking me.........I said "I want to see my mum". The lady would not let me. All I wanted to do was say bye bye. I had a hissy fit of that I am sure. I was taken to the class room but don't remember that part. I do remember the smell of poster paint and Plasticine. I next remember lunch. Something makes me think I had started school later than anyone else. Maybe because we had moved to my Nan's house at that time. Anyway a teacher took me to the lunch room thank goodness because it was all very intimidating. I sat on the end of a long bench. She brought me lunch, it was this (stew) mess that looked horrible, made with hamburger meat. It was thick and it made me want to gag. I refused to eat it. She sat next to me and put a spoonful in my mouth and it was really good. I ate the whole thing. I don't remember anything else.
I just remember the helpless feeling of not being understood, of betrayal and fright.





So this week my youngest granddaughter started Kindergarden she is 5 almost 6 so much older than I was. I remembered all of that, of my very first day. Its so different now, these kids ride on buses and carry backpacks and bring homework home they also get chance to go to preschool. Basically though in many ways they have to have those same fears. Large adults bossing them around and mum nowhere to be seen. Maybe the ones who have a less "retiring" personality do better and see it all as a big adventure but us shrinking violets have a very hard time of it. Just remember these small people cant voice their feelings. All I could say was "I want my mum" but what I meant was "I am OK with this, but I want to say goodbye" so listen to them and help them make a good start because it does effect the rest of their school days to some extent. I lost my trust of adults that day for a very long time.