I chose Life...............with no regrets.

One day we were discussing abortion on Eons. I am against it in almost all cases. For me it is based in my belief in God. It is this belief in God that makes all life sacred to me and that includes animals.





When I was 19 I became pregnant and I was not married. It was not acceptable back in the 1960s and most people found themselves married off right quickly if they got into that position. I was living in London during the week, my parents had let me move away from home on condition that I came home on weekends. To keep me out of trouble I suspect. If abortion had been legal I would have done it rather than face my parents I am sure of that and to my everlasting regret. My mothers words to me when she found out were "you will bring no bastard into this house" and so I found myself alone and confused. I stayed away and kept my life in London. I somehow managed, and I found a mother and baby home that I could move into until the baby was born and they took care of the hospital. I worked until I was 6 months along and then was not allowed to continue working. Anyway......the Mother and baby home was quite fun really, all the girls in the same position and no one could really say much about our circumstance. We were expected to work to keep the place running, each with our own jobs. I especially remember cleaning silver and scrubbing draining boards and doing dishes. After our babies came, then our jobs changed. We were taught how to take care of an infant and there were other new mothers to compare notes with and talk to so it was not too scary handling a new born.
I had to decide if I was to keep my baby or give her up for adoption. I decided to keep her and make a life for us both. I was not sure how this was going to happen but I knew I could stay there while I worked things out. I was willing to do what I had to in order to do that. My dad came to our rescue and asked us to go home. He was not going to leave me alone and more or less made my mum accept that.
My mother had given up her job in order to take care of her brothers child, my aunt was going back to work and they were paying my mum to take care of their son. So........she agreed to take care of my baby as well. I went back to work when I was allowed to when my daughter was six months old. I gave mum half what I earned for our keep and for her help. Not a whole lot in those days. I took care of my baby whenever I was not at work. Mum got attached to her as my aunt had said she would.
It has not been an easy road for me, and I have not always thought I did the right thing in not giving her up but never ever regretted not having an abortion. The whole pregnancy and birth was a wonderful experience even under those conditions. Now I know that I did the right thing, I have 4 granddaughters and a great grandson and so I know that this is what was meant to be.
My stand on abortion is this. If we take a life we do not know who we are destroying. How could I not want these beautiful girls in this world. What right did I ever have to deny them life.?
When a young girl gets pregnant she automatically wants the easy way out, but she has no idea how the descision effects her life ever after. She does not think of it as a baby in those first couple of months and is in a panic. She wants to cover the pregnancy up and she wants her life back. Well.............we have to undestand that life is not all about us....once we have chosen that path and had sex, then we need to be able to follow through and either give up the baby to someone who really wants a baby in their life, or find a way to keep the child. In that case it should be all about the baby and the mothers personal life needs to come 2nd. That is the consequence of behaving like a mature woman before you are ready. I missed out on a lot of fun by keeping my child. My friends who were still living and working in London went to Lybia and were there when Kadafi took over. The thrill of a bloodless revolution. Going to work and seeing soldiers in the streets.......going to Aden when there were all of the troubles there......I missed it all and listened to my friends stories while I was home in the country working and having no social life. I would have loved to see the Middle East back then.
Social life came soon enough. Once the baby was sleeping through the night I could go out again when I wanted to. I always put her to bed and got her up in the morning no matter how late I got home. I was always there when she was sick.....took care of all her needs, but my mother was there as well.
My mum was one of those women who worried about "what will the neighbors think" our name and reputation was ruined she said..........what I learned was that every single one of them were by my side and helped me when they could. They were there for me, they found reasons to help me out and took an interest in my child and supported me emotionally. I learned what it means when they say "It takes a village to raise a child" ...........I had enough love and support from everyone I knew, everyone stood by me and so my mother eventually came around. My dad was always my rock and my continual support. They never met my grandchildren but would have been proud of each of them.
I eventually got married and had two more children in England and at home, thank heaven for the health care system there.
My two boys and my daughter have never thought of themselves as 1/2 brothers and sister. They forget they have different fathers and thats the way it should be.
Thats my story and why I am against abortion. There is another way. We should not kill what we do not know..........God has blessed me and He is my strength. The whole experience made me stronger and self reliant and after that I knew I could do anything on my own and I did not need anyone else to rely on only my Lord.
I can not sit in judgement on people who made a different choice but please don't defend that choice by saying its a fetus and not a child. At least mourn the life that could have been and give it deep thought because there really are other choices. I also believe that if its a question of the making a choice between the life of mother or child then it is the choice of those involved and their doctor. So for that reason I believe abortion should not be illegal. The answer lies in peoples morals and not the law. In education and conscience. I realize that not everyone believes in God and can not be bound by my beliefs but the world would still be a better place if people honoured life and respected it.

The Last walks of Autumn............................

Autumn walks

I see Autumn leaves all swirling down
In shades of olive, scarlet, amber and brown.
I take deep breaths of cold crisp air
and catch a stray leaf in tendrils of hair.
I raise my face towards the sun
It's weaker now that summer is done.
My last eager walks in woodlands deep
before all is done, and put to sleep
under blankets of snow and freezing ice
everything now is so special, so nice
The sky is so blue, so pristine and bright
soon it will be leaden and looking like night
I don't want to miss out on these heavenly days
I want to soak up these last gentle rays
JKS 2011 Nov

Old Friends.............

I love Facebook. I just check in every day and say hello to friends all over the globe. Some are new and some are old. Some I have not seen in 40+ years and some I have never met. Its a wonderful thing this technology. I enjoy small glimpses into their daily lives and giving them a part of my own. I know we can't tell a lot about each other in such brief encounters but its a connection, and one that is so easy now. Before it was a matter of setting aside time to write a letter and mailing it, then waiting for the reply. Now it's instant if you want it to be. It's also a great way to share photos and just so much more. There was a group started on Facebook about the town near where I came from.....Dunstable. I had fun reading that and a friend thought we should start one on Houghton Regis and so I did. What great fun that has become. The group has grown by leaps and bounds and so many stories and pictures being shared. It has got people outside into our old haunts taking pictures to show everyone and rummaging through their own collections of old pictures. Oh the memories. We are remembering how our village used to be when we were growing up. Nothing like the place it has become. Some of the younger members do not remember the village any different to what it is now and they are learning how some of the place names came about and what it was once upon a time when us old folks were young. For most of us old Houghtonians the village had not changed since our fathers days and grandfathers all the way back to the beginning. It was a small village with gas lights and thatched roofs. A farm community with a village pond and a green that was used for the original purpose. The pond for wagons to go through so that the wood in the wheels would not become brittle. The Village green became the place for soccer and cricket and a play area for kids. They took out one of the big farms to build the London overspill estate and tore down the old Tithe Barn and all the farm buildings in order to make it. All the thatched roof cottages are gone, the public houses have dwindled or become eateries now.




Some lovely buildings remain, just a glimpse of what we once knew. The church that has stood for hundreds of years. The Kings Arms. The Chequers. The manor house on the green is still there with its tunnels that are supposed to go all the way to the church, blocked in now no doubt. The Crown public house is still there but little else of the old village. The ponds are gone and built upon. There are faint signs here and there, where the hairdressers are you can still see exposed beams from way way back. The village we knew was quiet and slow moving, everyone knew everyone and their families knew each other from hundreds of years back. Those same families are most likely gone now because the children (like me) moved away. There is only one Hines left in the village and he had girls.





Talking to others from the village about the places we played and the things we did, its a far cry from what children do now. We were content outside, finding our own games and troubles to be in. The pranks that kids got up to were so innocent compared to what people do now. No less troublesome to the parents of the time no doubt. Back then our village police man rode a bike and he would take a child home for punishment if the need arose. In my dads day the local Bobby would deliver a good "thick ear" and take the offender home for another one from the father of the child. Today we are not allowed to do much about wayward children and the world is a worse place for that.



Us girls loved to pick wild flowers. We climbed trees and played in the chalk pits and fields. Innocent but fun games with our friends. We didnt need or want toys we made our own fun. Just as well as no one had the money for them. Inside things were books and crayons and paints. Outside we made our own chassis out of old pram wheels we found that had been dumped in the hedgerows by the visiting gypsy band. We got wooden boxes from the grocers if we could and spent ages putting it all together to race them down Bidwell Hill. We were scavengers. I never had a bike and neither did any of my friends. We would go down to the Green to play on the swings though or traipse along the footpaths in search of birds nests or rabbits lairs. Mud pies and dugout dens or tree houses were the big thing to do. I remember Mick Bird and myself digging out an underground home that we put corrugated iron on for a roof, covered it in branches and got a candle to light the place up.We would just sit for ages in there thinking it was the best thing in the world especially if it rained.



Most of my childhood was spent with my friend Margaret who lived at Grove farm. We loved the outdoors and I learned a lot being there. I learned about what made the hedgerows and about the critters that lived there. The woods and fields and all that grew or lived in them. I saw how a sheep was shorn and dipped, and how to get eggs from under a cranky chicken. I saw a lamb being born and the wonder of it all..........baby cows and what a disaster foot and mouth disease used to be to the farmers and the animals. I remember fowl pest and farms being wiped out by it the smells of burning carcasses that permeated the air. Of having to walk through disinfectant to get on or off any of the farms to prevent the spread of disease.
I will be forever grateful for my life, for my childhood and now for being able to remember it again with old friends .

I am not gone...............

"I give you this one thought to keep -
I am with you still - I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift, uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not think of me as gone
I am with you still - in each new dawn."



poem attributed to Mary Frye

Oneida Point and around..............

Today we went for a walk in the woods. It was a gift, a lovely sunny and warm day and it's October. It has to be one of the last we will get so we just had to get out and enjoy it. First of all I wanted to drive up on Miller Hill just off Dunn's Farm Road. It was an unpaved road through the woods and looks out all over Lake Michigan. We could not walk to the overlook because we had Tristen with us so the view was somewhat impaired by the electric pylons. I had no sooner taken the picture than a Bald Eagle flew right in front of me. I could not get a picture as the camera was still processing the last shot. This view shows Sleeping Bear Bay and Sleeping Bear point. The Bay is where Glen Haven beaches sit and the coast guard station lighthouse.



Close up of the first picture



The road below is Dunn's Farm Road. I have cut that out of the picture though. The next one is the road through the woods. It takes us out by the Homestead near Point Oneida.



This area is in the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Lakeshore. Most of the farms have been bought up and are now preserved. We took Miller Road and walked through the fields and into the woods.



So here we go, off through the fields that have been mowed to make a lovely trail, and it is well worth the trip to the lookout. With a 2 year old there was not much hope of seeing wildlife but that's OK. This is cougar land, they have been seen as well as scat being found



Then off into the woods. It was such a beautiful day and with the sun shining through the trees was just perfect for walking. Tristen and Gerry had their walking sticks.



It is a bit of a walk to the lookout for little 2 year old legs but he made it all the way and up the hill. There is a seat at the top but he only stopped long enough for a picture.



There are lovely views and I bet on a clear summer day its spectacular.



You can see Lake Michigan and through the fields and farms below. I love the clouds in this shot.



We found the old Werner Family cemetery overlooking Lake Michigan. It is well taken care of and loved.


So then I took some pictures of a few of the farms at Point Oneida. Tristen got a piggy back ride back to the car because he was tired. These farms and barns are now owned by the National Park service. There are many more but we will show those another time.


This is the D.H Day farm a local landmark that can be seen from the top of the dunes and all around.



A bonus for us was by the Dune Climb, we saw what looks like a Muscrat nest or a Beavers den. I think its a Muskrat though.



Then it was lights out for our rosy cheeked cherub who was no doubt dreaming of fun filled days and the things he had seen and done.

The Moors..............

Evil winds blow cross the moor.
Boats get scuttled upon that shore
Such pounding of great hideous waves
Echoing through subterranean caves.
Lightening cracks and thunder rolls
Deep underground like awakening trolls.
Mists and rain roll in banks of fog
Imagination sees the red eyed dog
Devils hounds glide and bay
For unwary travelers who carelessly stray
Out on those moors all wild and cold
Pay heed to the stories by firesides told
Light windows with candles to guide folks back home
The moors on such days are no place to roam.


JKS Oct 2011

Poem by Robert Frost....

Whose woods these are I think I know,
His house is in the village though.
He will not see me stopping here,
To watch his woods fill up with snow.

My little horse must think it queer,
To stop without a farmhouse near,
Between the woods and frozen lake,
The darkest evening of the year.

He gives his harness bells a shake,
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep,
Of easy wind and downy flake.

The woods are lovely, dark and deep,
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

-- Robert Frost

Bridget...............

Bridget was a tiny toy poodle with a personality as big as a great dane. She was naughty, and took pride in it. She was a flirt and the whole neighbourhood loved her. She loved to dress up.
When she came to us she was under one pound. She fit easy inside my hand. The lady who bred her brough her in a tiny carrier. She brought bottled water, food, her baby toys and blankets. She came with her first hair cut. You could tell she was well loved from day one. When she hurt herself one time I felt so guilty that I had betrayed the love that woman had for this tiny creature. She got over it by the end of the day (she fell off the back of the couch)........Bridget was 5 when she died. It was a terrible accident a little boy of about 2 went to hit a ball with a plastic bat and Bridget went for the same ball and so he hit her. I am sure it broke her neck. I could not believe it. Bud next door rushed us to the vet and Dr Burke did his best to save her but, it was not to be. After loosing Buttons not that long before it was almost more than I could take. Bridget.......Dr Burke chose her name from the few we could not decide on. Her best friend was a huge dog that walked by every day. Some days we walked together and would stop at all the neighbours so she could flirt. She would go up on peoples porches to greet the cats or dogs and have people admire her. She would look in car windows and in peoples doors in case she missed someone who might have wanted to see her.
I will always remember every one of my poodles, they are all special. It almost killed me to loose Buttons and then Bridget too. We have a small poodle now named Brea who reminds me a lot of Bridget so sassy and funny enough the other one Bella is quite like Buttons. We have 4 poodles now but none replace those who you loose. They just give you another one to love.

More about Lady..............

My horse was named Lady....and she was NOT!!!!. A lady that is. We have had some good times together her and I. When I was almost 40 I decided I would like to learn to ride. I signed up for a few lessons for myself and also my kids. We only went a few times before the boarding place was sold. The horses too. So I bought Lady who was my lesson horse, for 600 dollars. I was told she was 16 years old. I also bought a 1/2 share in another horse named Spyder. My friend Mary was the co-owner and said mine was the back half.



Well, we had some good rides and some not so good rides. Spyder was more of a gentleman but the boys rode him. It was great taking the boys out and watching them learn to ride. Sometimes Laura came too, but not often as she was married by then. We would go out on the trails and fields around Golden Valley and I can still see us all in my minds eye. The kids grew up and my friend and I shared Spyder until he died at a good old age. I remember once he had "an impaction"....the vet said go get enemas and so I did. Six of them, I felt compelled to tell the cashier that they were not for me. Anyway, never having had the need of an enema I was not aware that you should get the air out of the syringe before sticking it up the horses butt. Well I think I almost blew out Spyders eyeballs with the first couple the pressure was that great, but he was very good about it and it did the trick too. We had to take turns walking him around and around, and I also had to put my hand/arm up his bum a few times to drag stuff out to move the blockage, but in the end it worked really well but was not one of my prouder moments. Poor old Spyder.
Lady and I with my friend Mary would go on trail rides through the woods. We would plod along on the way out with lady and Captain both eating the leaves along the way very relaxed and contented. There was an alterior motive for that because when they let go of the branch it would wipe us across the face. Did I say she had a sense of humour? well she did!!!. I am sure she would say to Captain "watch this" and snicker. Like when I started to learn to jump........we always started at a trot and would come up to the jump all enthusiastic and nicely balanced to go over and she would stop dead and start eating grass. Lucky for me I was balanced enough to stop too and looking like a limpet on a log, unlike my friend Mary who would sail over the jump without her horse. Captain and Lady shared the same humour you see. The little kids at the stable held a wedding for them they had been together so long. So it was that Lady and Captain got married. She even had a veil and Captain a bow tie.
Captain would enjoy it when we went out into the fields for our lessons instead of the arena. We would go around nicely in a circle learning to perfect the moves we were learning or whatever it was we were practicing then all of a sudden Captain would stop and casually eat grass. Mary would very elegantly slide down his neck and plop to the ground in front of him whereapon he would give a huff and snort and trot off as if to say "you just dont learn do you". She didn't either. I dont know how many times Mary was told not to feed the horse in the tie stall while grooming but she knew best and continued to do that until one day I saw her come sailing out into the barn landing on her bum in the aisle. "Well" she said." He has never done that before." as she walked off nursing her bruised posterior and ego.

Lady on the other hand was always trying to out wit me, not too difficult really......but I was a little more aware than Mary. I never did learn to canter. Lady would get going nicely until I was almost confident and then she would quickly change direction, run into the center of the arena and stop dead with me hanging on her side. "Dont let her so that" my instructor would say...........well listen woman the horse is bigger than me and she does what she wants. Not exactly true because I have seen 6 year olds canter the old bag with no trouble whatsoever. Its just me she has fun with.
Her relationship with me?. She was always the boss and was paid in carrots and apples upon demand.
I have to say that I thought that riding would come natural, it looks so easy. Then I got on for the first time and found out its not that simple. I am still puzzled about that. You are not a passenger you are supposed to be in control, to guide, to command.
It was not at all as I thought I mean, you have to learn another language. I ride English and its all control with seat and leg......well its supposed to be. Lady learned English really well especially the word NO........ as in "You want me to do what? NO!!!"....shes not so good with the rest of the language unless it involves food. I do know this........she could read my mind. On the positive side we never ever had a problem catching our horses to come inside to "work". They knew there would be lots of carrots and apples and other treats. In fact the other horses would volunteer to come in as well.
I must confess I have a problem with forcing my will upon an animal. She knew it. She took advantage of it and she laughed. I loved being with her, grooming her, the smell of her. I love that warm furry smell of hay and horse sweat. Walking with her. Yes some days when she was older I would just walk with her and not ride at all, so we would both get exercize. She was a large puppy on a leash. Just being with her was a privilege.




Lady had a great life and she lived to be 41. When I would clean the stalls I would leave her loose outside and when she was done with her breakfast she would come back inside to bug me until I give her more food or a treat. She lived at a friends house at the end of her days with two nice big fields and two friends. So there were just 3 stalls to clean and she would come in and hang out with me. Go through my pockets if she could........and get into the hay and grain bins if she could before I saw her. Nothing like bending over and having a horse push your butt so you almost fall flat.





I wonder if she remembered our days out on the trails, jumping logs and exploring places with Spyder and Captain. Both of them have been gone now for quite some time. She would be very slow and plodding on the way out and we would ride for an hour, sometimes longer, but the witch knew when we changed direction and would try to rush home. So the ride back consisted of lots of tight little circles and running up hills to get her to slow up some. I loved her running up the hills but admit that I hated coming down again and we would ride as much along the tops as we could until I could find the gentlest slope back to even ground.
I remember one day she ran away with me I have no idea why. I actually got a good canter going and thought "hey this is great" except that the barn was swiftly coming upon us along with the main road and the log yard and I knew that we would not make the turn, well I knew she would.......I would not and did not relish coming off at speed. I was very proud of myself that I was calm and could reach forwards to grab her rein close enough to turn her up the next hill and turn around. I got off and walked back shaking and glaring at her. Mary had already abandoned ship and was walking back beside Captain. Mary didnt want any of that. Anyway, I made Lady walk really slow the rest of the way so she had to wait for supper. I know, I hear you ...shame ...shame ...shame..........she won again. Sigh......my instructor said I should have got back on and ridden her home but, well, I am a coward. Mary spent a lot of trail time walking. If she saw or thought she saw a deer off she would hop. Not me I could not hop back on like she could I needed something to climb on. She always said that Captain would spook if he saw a deer. It was Mary who spooked most of the time, but Captain had been known to do some good spooks. Lady always stopped and thought about it long enough for me to reassure her.
One thing I must say in her defense, not that she needs it. She trusted me. If I asked her to walk over something scary, she would stare at it and stop when I would say "go on its OK" she believed me and would step over or onto anything. She would never spook, she might tuck her butt under but she would always go and when Captain had a fit she would always be reassured by me.
My instructor said if I wanted to learn to ride well I should get a different horse. I could not do that. She was mine for better or worse and I loved every moment of it. We were friends. I never became a good rider and I am not unhappy with that. Lady has been gone three years now and I still miss her and the smell of horses and all that goes with it.

Happy Birthday...............

This week is a week for birthdays.
Happy Birthday Carrie. Carrie is wife to Justin who will have his birthday two days later. Have a great time together you guys. I love you both very much. Relax and enjoy some time together.




Justin will be 40 this year, my baby boy is 40 oh Lord am I getting old.