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Take a walk in Blue Bell Woods listen to the sounds around you, of bird song and bees. Smell the flowers and the scent of Spring in the air. Every year is a new beginning and every day a blessing

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Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Thinking of Alexandra..............

So many little things every day make me think of you. I suppose that's inevitable having your son with me.
Tristen is 3 1/2 now. Oh boy, I have forgotten what a three year old is like. He is sooooo much like you Alex. I remember you as a small child, your defiance, you were just so naughty and so darn cute. Yup that's Tristen. He tries my patience to the limit. Then we have snuggle time and I forget it all.

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He is asserting his independence. Raising him will not be easy. He knows he is loved so much though. When he has been especially naughty he will say "You love me Nanny?" and even when I want to wring his neck I say "Yes Tristen, I love you so much" And I do.
It was two years in February that you left us. I miss you, it still does not seem real that you can be gone. I still feel I am watching Tristen till you come home, I can't wrap my head around the fact that he is mine now........I am 67 and raising a three year old. He is so loved though and always will be. Your Dad is living with us for now. He is getting a divorce from Debbie and we are trying to make things easy for everyone including her. Its good for Tristen to have males around (smile) we were a bit worried for awhile. Gabby was living here and he was surrounded by females. He would want his nails done and would put on your mums high heels. Well having Granddad and now Grandpa living with us might help him a bit. We must keep a balance.

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Alex as a little girl above and grown up below

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I love this picture of Alex and its so much like Tristen is now.
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I love this picture of Alex and Tristen
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She will never grow old, always be beautiful and Tristen will grow up knowing that she loved him very much.

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Tristen is a big boy now.........she will never see him grow up and that brings tears to my eyes. Some times it is just so hard. I wonder how she would have handled the days that he is a little pistol just like she was? She had spirit, she was so alive. This is Tristen now, being calm (smile)and snuggling with Bodi

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..........and this is him recently playing out in the snow.

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So anyway Alex, we love you always and miss you every day but I will love your son and take the best care of him that I possibly can, and love him even when he is naughty (smile) it will just make me think of you all the more.




7 comments:

Danni Baird @ Silo Hill Farm said...

This is an amazing post. I have no idea what happened to your beautiful daughter but I am sorry for your loss. Your grandson is precious and obviously very precious to you. I'm a little younger than you and I can't imagine raising a toddler. I admire you and I wish you peace.

Michele @ The Nest at Finch Rest said...

Bless you!

I am so sorry - I cannot even for one second imagine your pain and worries.

Know God never lets us endure what we cannot handle - and take comfort knowing that there are prayers being said for you all tonight.

He is a beautiful little boy, and so lucky to have your heart.

Hang in there. I wish you the very best in the tough days ahead.

Patty Wiles said...

Janice, your post is so touching and just know that God is in control. I am so sorry for whatever resulted in the loss of your daughter. The photos are beautiful and just so touching. God Bless you and Tristen. ')

Magic Love Crow said...

This is such a touching post! I am sending out love and hugs to you and your loved ones Janice ;o)

Wsprsweetly Of Cottages said...

Having just lost my own daughter, I know your pain. I cannot imagine trying to raise a tiny boy at your age, or mine. What sadness life hands us sometimes and in the other hand, happiness unbounded.
Your daughter was gorgeous, as is your little grandson. I am glad you are not alone and have someone to share your load with. He is just precious!
Hugs,
Mona

Marigene said...

What a moving post, Janice. I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved daughter. Your grandson is adorable and with your guidance and love he will grow to be a strong young man.

kitty said...

I've been reading your posts and wanted to say that I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter. How wonderful of you to care for her darling Tristan. May God and His Blessings be with you as you travel this journey.